Even the warm
Sunshine
Was unable
To keep
The shadow
Of dread away-
Like a dark cloud
Approaching
Warning of storms
Up ahead
While providing
No instructions
For preparation
Or survival
Only questions-
What is about to happen?
How will I respond?
A revelation lifts
The uneasiness
But leaves behind
A sadness
The weight of it
Heavy
Pulling strings
Between souls
Across minor chords
Tension eased only
Through shared tears
My dad’s only living brother, Sam, is not expected to live much longer. I have not seen him in years. And yet, this news brought sadness.
Dad has only been gone a few months. I know the heartache Sam’s loss will bring to others in my family.
Family ties are often stretched and sometimes broken. I’m so thankful Dad and Sam were able to reconnect in recent years. https://pianogirlthoughts.com/2021/04/01/brothers/
Tag: family
Painted Maps
Red clay roots
Must run deep
I can’t think of
Any other reason
For your vibrancy
A fiery reddish orange
Creating community
Wherever you grow-
In some instances
Grouped together
In small bouquets
To mark celebrations
Or remembrances
Most of the time
Woven amongst
Blades of green grass
A colorful lace carpet-
Unafraid to share
Your birthplace
A variety of colors
Dances with you
On the breeze-
Pale pinks
Lovely lilacs
Sunwashed yellows-
Welcomed as part
Of your family-
Imagine I was a bird–
Gliding overhead
Following painted maps
A witness to your beauty
A witness to the power
Of shared roots across
Uncommon ground
Simply Sunday
You Can Call Me…
We are officially on baby watch! Emilia is due May 23. Doctor appointments are happening weekly. The parents-to-be are excited, anxious, and tired. But I have no doubt they are ready.
There is one thing I have not been able to decide. What is this sweet baby going to call me? Gart says he is Papa, easy-peasy. Not so for me.
I have tried on multiple titles in a variety of phrases.
Nana loves you.
I’m so glad to be your Mimi.
Hi, Emilia. Grandma is here.
You get the idea.
Well, the other night I had a dream. A baby was crying. I remember walking up some stairs toward the crying. And right before I woke up, I heard it-Gigi.
Hmmm…I could get used to that. If Emilia approves, that is.
Remedies
I want it to
Go away
The feeling itself
And the way
It makes me feel
Yesterday
It refused-
Sticking around
Like a dull
Headache
Affecting
All of me-
Blurry vision
Upset stomach
Tense muscles-
So it goes
With anger
But like that
Dull headache
I know it will ease
When carefully
Tended with
The right remedies
Anger is listed in the stages of grief. But somehow, I was not expecting it to be part of my experience. That is not my personality. Nor did I understand its close relationship with sadness. That is, until this week.
Driving to work Monday, I had a sudden image of Mom and Dad at home. They were going through their morning routine, smiling. I smiled. Just as suddenly, I felt mad. Angry at the reality that he is not there with her.
Honestly, I did not recognize it as anger at first. But it did not fade. Two things helped. Naming it and allowing it to work its way out thru tears.
Smiling helps, too. It's just that some days that requires a bit more intention.😊
Simply Sunday
When our kids were younger, they would spend a week at my parent’s house in the summer. We would meet my parents halfway between our house and theirs. One weekend, dropping off. The next picking up.
This week took me to that halfway point again. Except for this time, I was meeting my brother. And I wasn’t dropping off or picking up kids. It was my mom. She was spending the week with me. ❤️
We had a great time. Lots of time to talk and reminisce. We laughed and cried as we talked about missing my dad. But most of all, we remembered. And remembering is good.
Goodnights
Tiny hand
Gently
Patting me
On the back
Head quietly
Resting
On my shoulder-
Hands folded
Held still
Near your face
As I tuck you
Snuggly in bed-
Seemed like
Overnight
You were too big
To be tucked in
Staying up
Later than
Mom and dad
A sweet
Reversal of roles
The big kid
Coming in
To tell us goodnight-
I don't remember
When any of those
Goodnights
Changed
But they did-
And that's ok
Preparing to be a grandma has me thinking about those early days and years of motherhood. They change so fast.
We are looking forward to welcoming sweet Emilia June very soon! 💗
Simply Sunday
The Firsts
I have felt
The joy in
Celebrating
The firsts-
Smiles
Steps
Words
Birthdays
The one being
Celebrated
Too young
To remember
Yet, later seeing
Thru the eyes
Of those who
Were present
Knowing their
Foundation
Was built
In love-
Strange how
Those firsts
Continue
But change
After one is gone
A birthday
An anniversary
A holiday
Without them
The one being
Remembered
Not here, and yet
Our tears
And smiles
Confirmation
Of that same
Foundation
Still standing
This is our first Easter without Dad. Just me and Mom watching church online as my Uncle James preached from the church where he and my Aunt Martha serve in Massachusetts. It was quiet. The message was hopeful. And we are thankful. Happy Easter! 🕊
Freshly Sliced Strawberries
A regular guest
Always
Managing
To find his
Way back
To this place
Always
Managing
To keep his
Path hidden
From his host
Which was okay
Reservations were
Not accepted anyway-
The proprietor
Remaining
Ever ready
To welcome
His friend
However long
The space
Between visits
With freshly
Sliced strawberries
And a kind word-
A life lesson
For other guests
Young and old-
All creatures
No matter
Their stature
Deserve freshly
Sliced strawberries
I’m not sure how many years this turtle visited my parent’s backyard, but it was several. When our family visited, we would go outside to look for Buddy. On one particular occasion, there was some construction involved.
Our youngest son, Ryan, decided Buddy needed his own little resort. Ryan found a plastic container and gathered some rocks. After careful placement, he added water. And believe it or not, Buddy crawled right in!
Today, I am grateful for this sweet photo and memory.
Poems From the Circle
Once again, sharing poems from the writing circle. I continue to be grateful for this experience. Can’t believe it’s been three years! Thank you, Ali, http://flashlightbatteries.blog for creating this beautiful space. ❤️
Sweet Dreams
Can you imagine?
Camping in the woods
Red-orange glow
Of the campfire
Smell of smoke
Sleeping in a tent
So serene…until
Seven little girls
Bathing in a
Small tin tub
On top of a
Wooden picnic table
Enter the picture-
Warm water carefully
Poured over each
Little head
The night air
Filled with giggles
As they dry off
In front of the fire-
Maybe not so serene
Except for the
Sweet dreams
Of sleepy headed
Children after
A busy day
Exploring
The wonders
Of the wild woods
A Little Longer
I seem to be
Spending
More time
Inside my heart
These days
Blocking out
The noisy world
Ignoring my own
Thoughts
So as not
To neglect
A single memory of you-
I know some
Will fade
With time
But for now
It is my heart
That holds
Each image
Your quiet strength
Your gentle smile
Your sky-blue eyes
It is a sacred job
This holding
So, I think
I will remain
Inside my heart
Just a little longer
Smiles and Tears
Memories of you
Make me smile
Fried chicken leg
In my little hands
Sitting in your lap
At the table
You are smiling
Wearing a white t-shirt-
Maybe that is
An actual picture
Not a memory-
Little red wagon
Transportation
For your first
Grandchild, smiling
As you pulled him
Around the neighborhood
Now that one
I can recall-
No longer having
The opportunity
To make memories
With you makes me cry-
A human response
I know-time spent
In the present
In the physical
Where Memories
Are created
For the future
But we are
So much more
Than the physical
Standing
In this present
Space and time
And though I may not
Understand it all
And sometimes
Feel sadness
In every strand
Of my being
All the way
To the core
Hope lives both
In the smiles
And in the tears
Piano Girl 