Gray clouds linger
Matching the heaviness
Hovering over my heart-
As deceptions spread
Anger and sadness
Try to sneak in and
Overtake my emotions-
But worry and fear are not
The way forward-
Returning hate for deception
Will not lift this haze-
Love enveloped in grace
Mercy grown from love
Sentiments that begin to
Calm my anxious thoughts-
The gray clouds will lift
Long before this heaviness
Hovering over my heart
But I must believe it, too,
Will eventually clear-
In the meantime,
What can I do?
Love my neighbor as myself
Tag: anxiety
Not Enough
Feeling the need to speak
Knowing the importance of
Choosing my words
Carefully-
Not speaking is unacceptable-
Emotions swirl in my head
Threatening to exit in a scream-
Until I pause
Take a breath
Whisper a prayer
Allowing it all to be filtered
Though my heart –
Love your neighbor as yourself
Leaves no room to vilify or dehumanize-
Be kind and compassionate to one another
Holds no space for intimidation and hatred-
Love those who are foreigners,
For you yourselves were foreigners
Carries no capacity for arrogance or exile-
Choosing my words carefully
Knowing they are not enough
And actions must follow
Photos taken by me in Washington, D.C.
Silence
It challenges me-
In my car?
Turn on some music
Home alone?
Flip on the TV
Why not simply sit
With my thoughts?
They tend to shift
Quite rapidly
And are often
Accompanied by
Vivid images-
My quiet time
Quickly becomes
A cacophony
No one else can hear
A barrage of photos
No one else can see-
Perhaps I should
Take a walk-
Listen closely to the
Birds and the Breeze-
Let their songs clear
The cobwebs away
Making room for peace
Two Different Things
Facing my fears-
Does that mean the same
As overcoming them?
I don’t think so
It doesn’t feel that way
In the moment
Perhaps they’re two
Different things-
Understanding fear’s roots
Proves helpful
And yet, the feelings
Do not simply vanish
Anxious, irrational fears
Of once again being
Out of control
Suddenly flood
Every part of my body-
Time to stop
Take a breath
Sit down
Look directly ahead
Or, if necessary
Close my eyes
Allow tears to fall
And that is ok-
It is helpful to have
Someone next to me
Someone I trust
Who will say
You are safe
It’s ok to close your eyes
You can open your eyes now
And when I step out
Of my comfort zone
Even just a little says
I’m so proud of you!
Yellow Ribbon
Perfectly content
Exploring the peaceful valley
From my seat on the rock
I glanced up, noticing
Bright yellow ribbons
Winding their way
Through the mountains
As if a painter had chosen
Just the right brush
And gently dabbed
Contrasting colors
Behind the evergreens
Creating a trail that
Graciously called out –
Don’t stay in the valley
Come to the mountaintop
Follow the yellow ribbon
Until the trees disappear
Then look back
To see how far you’ve traveled
Yesterday, Gart and I traveled the beautiful roads of Rocky Mountain National Park to the Alpine Visitor Center, elevation 11,796 feet. The views were stunning. And seeing the valley we had explored the day before from above was humbling.
Traveling on high, curvy mountain roads is a challenge for me. Just the thought of it puts a knot in my stomach. In recent years, I’ve come to understand the roots of this anxiety. And I’m grateful to have someone beside me who understands, challenges, and encourages me. Oh, and also takes some amazing photos! ❤️
Photo credit Gart Morris 3 & 4
Bits and Pieces
Emotions rise and fall
One moment
Filling my eyes
And the next
Tightening my chest
Emotions rise and fall
But words are slow
To follow-
I can feel them
Sometimes see them
Coming towards me
One at a time
With no sense of order
Leaving bits and pieces
Of a story
Or a memory
Floating around in my head-
Perhaps those are the days
I most need to write
Simply Sunday
Reasons to Smile
The dense morning haze
Weighed heavy on my
Foggy morning brain
Forcing sad thoughts
To the surface-
No way around
Muddling through
The middle would
Have to do
The haze gave way
To mid-morning layers
Of grays and whites
Overlapping, continually
Trading places until
Swaths of baby blue
Smiled through the gaps–
And with no hesitation
I smiled back
Sometimes we all need a reminder of our many reasons for smiling. Time with family is one of my favorite reasons. 💗
Simply Sunday
Some days it seems
The tap of a feather
Can knock me to the ground
Yet, on those very days
A kind word
Or simple gesture
Can lift me to my feet
Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.
Proverbs 12:25
Tears
Perhaps if I
Thought of them
As belonging
To a waterfall
Freely rushing
Over the edge
Of a rock face
Skillfully smoothed
From the continuous
Flow of unexpected
Strength and sorrow
Knowing they will
Slow down
Once reaching
A quiet stream below-
Not losing purpose
But discovering
New resolve-
Perhaps if
I thought of them
As belonging
To a waterfall
I would let them fall
Free of fear
No concern for
Who might be
Standing at the lookout
Witnessing my life
In motion through
Each drop of rain
From the storms
Each spot of color
From the rainbows
Talking about anxiety and depression is not easy. When emotions feel out of balance, it is tempting to hide them. But putting on a happy face, though sometimes necessary, is not a permanent solution. Eventually, they will find a way out, often leading to embarrassment and exhaustion.
Well, at least that was my experience earlier this week. 😉
Thankful for friends and family who understand and keep me grounded. ❤️
Packing and Unpacking
Started unpacking today
After twenty-plus years
Guess it’s about time-
Not that this suitcase
Was hidden
No, it has floated
In my periphery
Until a flashback
Would open the latch
Spilling its contents
In a jumbled mess
All over my heart-
A quick nod
Possible sharing
Then once again
Packed away-
Not this time
This time I am
Choosing to
Open the latch
Hold each piece close-
Fear
Anger
Gratitude
Release-
Acknowledging
Their impact
Before gently folding
Placing them in my
Chest of Memories
Not to be forgotten
But remembered
With clarity
Within the journey
Piano Girl 