Do you feel it?
The growing weight
A blanket sewn of fear
and hate cast over
everyone in its path
Another layer added
with each news story,
unsolicited opinion,
misguided answer
Like being wrapped in
a down comforter on
the hottest day of summer
And I am suffocating
But no amount of worry
will ease the weight
Or change this season
Do we burrow deeper?
Do we kick off the cover?
What if I reach for your hand,
and you reach for mine-
Then together, together
Like brilliant sun rays
piercing storm clouds
We poke pin holes
in the fabric
Each aperture releasing
a breath, a smile, a memory-
Droplets of hope
Rising in solidarity
Tag: anxiety
Afternoon Blues
Wrap me securely
in afternoon blues-
Only not too tight
A white cottony cloud
gently cradled by
powder blue skies
A newborn baby
swaddled in a
handsewn blanket
Wrap me securely
in afternoon blues-
Only not too tight
Ease the weight
of my fears, as
teardrops freely fall
Bring peace that
lasts through the
deepest midnight
Wrap me securely
in afternoon blues-
Only not too tight
Limited Power
There are moments,
A scream buried
deep inside begins
rising to the surface
Push it back down, steady-
Letting it out would
surely be unpleasant
Why is it there, anyway?
Big picture, I am ok
Still, frustrations pile
one on top of another
and another, attempting
a coup inside my brain
Truth is, their power is limited
One tangerine sky at the
end of a cool Spring day
and my heart instantly
returns to the helm
And that scream?
It dissipates in a single breath
Forgot to Remember
With pinpointed laser focus,
I move through a tunnel
of my own making
Eyes staring straight ahead
Everything in my periphery,
blurred
Just make it
to your destination
Tensions will ease
Where am I heading,
anyway? I forgot to remember.
The tunnel walls concealed
my dazed distraction, creating
a false sense of direction
toward a desired destination
Or whatever it is I’m seeking.
Peace? But peace is not a destination.
Peace shines through a single ray of sunlight
piercing the clouds to my right
Peace sings with the birds playing leapfrog
on the power lines to my left
Peace smiles as I exit the tunnel
Opening my eyes and my heart
to this great big beautiful world
Better Thoughts
I often get frustrated
with my own. The way
they become jumbled,
like a bowl of alphabet soup.
Isolated letters are visible
But I feel lost as to
how they fit together.
Other times, my thoughts
become frantic, building
one upon another.
A growing snowball of worries
rapidly rolling down a hill-
Ignoring my calls to stop.
But, is there such a thing as better thoughts?
I suppose not. After all, my thoughts
belong only to me.
And now and then,
in the middle of the chaos,
I take a deep breath and
clearly hear one thought
above the rest-You are enough
Renewal
A swath of deep, dark
purple appeared, the
top layer of sunrise,
oranges and golds
rising underneath.
The horizon, their
steady starting line.
The nearby Morning Star
inscribed words of comfort
in silver lettering across the layers.
Here I am. You are not alone.
Words I have received,
written down, and shared
on many occasions.
But today, for a moment,
It felt as though I was
receiving them for the first time.
Why these words this morning?
Perhaps to reinforce a truth
experienced in recent days
as a renewed promise.
Even when all is not well,
You will be okay
Enjoying a few days in Chicago. My first visit! Grateful for time away with the guy pictured below. 😘
Tell Someone
A tightening in the
center of my chest
A knot in my gut
Breathe
A few moments of relief
And then with no warning
A tightening in the
center of my chest
A knot in my gut-
Add in a little race
between my pulse
and my thoughts-
Breathe deeper
Take a drink of water
Tell someone how I’m feeling
The cycle may continue
a little longer
but I’m no longer
circling it alone
I often speak of writing as a type of therapy. I’m able to get feelings on paper without speaking the words.
I have not written about anxiety and depression in a while. But today was tough. Anxiety was knocking down the door.
If you happen to also be there, you are not alone.
Much love,
Kelley
Spacious
Sometimes my brain
feels overcrowded.
Like, there’s not enough space
for all my thoughts to process.
Then one word emerges
from the muck.
Spaciousness.
My busy thoughts pause-
It does exist.
Spaciousness.
Between the time you were born
and the person you’ve become.
Between the first dark cloud
of a storm and the last drop of rain.
Between each breath I take,
as I slow down to watch
clouds gracefully float past.
Counterintuitive
Not a cloud in the sky.
Yet, a heavy haze
held the morning.
Unhelpful. Especially when
my brain also feels foggy.
If only I were still sleeping.
However, sleep is not
a likely solution.
There is rarely a
single solution anyway.
Some days are just like this.
My heart is grateful for
family and friends.
My head is unsure how
to process the melancholy.
Seems counterintuitive
to wish for a cloud.
But if a fluffy cloud means
A lifted haze
A bluer sky
A spark of imagination
Then I will keep searching.
Looking out every time
I pass a window.
Simply Sunday
A Lesson in Comparison
I have never seen
a blue so pale, barely blue.
Blurring the lines
between sky and cloud.
Still blue, only subdued.
The mood emanating from
those muted hues
is quite opposite from
this morning’s bird songs.
Playful conversations
I could only observe,
no matter how closely
I listened. Smile-inducing,
even without understanding.
Perhaps there’s a lesson
in the comparison.
Pale blue-an accurate description
of my current mood.
Playful conversations-an indication
of future possibilities.
An intriguing coexistence.
Piano Girl 