Not So Unalike

On By Piano girl6 Comments

If your tears flowed
From my eyes
Instead of your own
Would I feel your pain?
Would I understand
What brings you joy?

If your heart
Beat strong
Inside my chest
Would you know
My fears? Sense
My excitement?

Physically impossible
We are worlds apart
Yet, if I stare long enough
At your image to gain
A glimpse into your soul
What might occur?

Would my life change?
Would yours?
Sympathy morphing
Into understanding
And understanding
Flying into action

I am not you
You are not me
Yet, if we seek-
Peer deep enough
Perhaps we would
Grasp the mystery

We are not so unlike.

Listening to this song a few weeks back, I was drawn to write. But days have been long. And my brain has been saying rest. Then today, I heard it again. This time, I couldn’t ignore it. As a matter of fact, I sat in my car in the garage until the song was over. Take a listen. ❤️

https://youtu.be/XT3zXs7eI0I

Wet With Tears

On By Piano girl2 Comments

Way too young
Senseless death
Gun violence
Once again
This time
I can’t ignore
Won’t let my heart
Become numb
This time
I can see
The one left behind
Her heart
Broken into pieces
That may never
Fit back together
No matter
The time
That passes-
Right now
The grief is fresh
Eyes wet with tears
At the mention
Of her loss
Or a gentle hand
On her shoulder
Don’t hide them
Though they fall
Because of loss
They also fall
Because of love

This story is one of many. Too many. Young adults ready to take on this world, taken too soon. Though it is not my story to tell, listening touched my heart. I could not walk away without taking time to acknowledge the grief, the hurting left behind. And also the love and strength showing through the pain. 💔

You’ve Got Mail

On By Piano girl2 Comments

My email inbox is quick to get overloaded. Because I tend to ignore it. Until the thousands of unread messages are overwhelming.

My daughter gets after me about this habit quite often. But she is also quick to help. And I must admit, it is a relief to see that empty inbox.

Today, its state is somewhere in between control and chaos. Cluttered, but not enough where I might miss an important message.

…like the one that arrived this morning with a swoosh.

I have met so many amazing people through the writing circle process. One of those sweet friends recently asked if I’d like to be on her mailing list. She sends a weekly letter out to a few friends.

Due to the often out-of-control state of my inbox, I almost declined. So thankful that I did not.

Her words are always timely, and today was no exception. Acknowledging the worries of this world while also brightly shining her light. Honest and challenging. Reading her words, I often find myself saying, Me, too! That fact alone places her emails at the top of my must-read column.

So, if you are feeling heavy today, you are not alone. And just as I received encouragement, long distance-may I offer some to you?

Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.
Proverbs 12:25

Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24

Thinking I need to re-read.❤️

“All of us, at some time or other, need help. Whether we’re giving or receiving help, each one of us has something valuable to bring to this world. That’s one of the things that connects us as neighbors—in our own way, each one of us is a giver and a receiver.” -Fred Rogers

Two Recommendations

On By Piano girl4 Comments

Every sound
Amplified
As if a megaphone
Was pointed directly
Into my ear
Each step
Heavier than
The one before
I try to smile
It’s not all bad
But, yesterday was great!
Why does today feel so opposite?
Same place
Same plans
The same me-I think
So, what could it be?
Energy expended
Yesterday
Not recouped
For today
Just two recommendations-
First, listen as
Five and six-year-olds
Sing their favorite songs
Second, go home
And take a nap

A great day of teaching requires a great deal of energy. Those where I wake up rested and ready tend to be the best. I can focus on the students and the music, all of us engaged and having fun.

But oh, those days when I did not sleep well the night before. Or some unexpected stress. Those days can be a struggle. My lack of energy affects my focus. If I am not engaged, neither are my students.

Teaching is both challenging and rewarding work! Some days will not go as planned. But some days are not all days. Children singing, particularly songs from the movie Encanto, and naps help. 😉 ❤️

Simply Sunday

On By Piano girl4 Comments

Simplest of Joys

Every day, I drive past a field
A house and barn on one side
Two horses roaming
Rolling hills behind tree lines
It seems so simple
The roots of joy flowing from this place
On certain days
Days when the resident family of deer is grazing
Often in the early morning, I spot them
Spread-out, enjoying a quiet breakfast
Often in the afternoon, I spot them
Playing on the hills behind the trees
I always want to stop and snap a picture
But there’s never time or space for that-
Other cars and such-
I feel sad on the days when I can’t spot
My little family of deer

Best-Laid Plans

On By Piano girl6 Comments

Dominoes
Carefully
Lined up
Waiting patiently
Their rhythmic fall
Will soon begin
One onto the next
Onto the next

Dominoes
Carefully
Lined up
Impatient
Some hopping
Out of line
Causing gaps
Heavy sighs

Dominoes
Neatly stacked
Back inside
Their box
Resting quietly
Until the box opens
Revealing tomorrow’s
Best-laid plans

Due to President’s Day and icy weather, we only had one day of in-person school last week. It was not my best teaching day. Also, not my worst, but…Whew! I went home exhausted and a teeny bit irritable.

The struggles started with step one. Some I was able to fix, others I was not. No need to name them. That would only serve to re-ignite feelings of frustration.

That is teaching. That is life. No matter our plans. Rarely do all the dominoes fall in perfect order. And truthfully, that should not be the goal.

Here’s to a new week, new plans, and renewed purpose. And hopefully, a bit more patience.

Morning News

On By Piano girl5 Comments

I sit quietly
In my house
This morning
Drinking hot tea
Watching the morning news
Never having experienced the kind of fear
That would cause me to flee my home
Searching for a place of safety
A shelter under the ground
Where explosions above
That will destroy my home
And those of my friends and family
Cannot reach my children
I don’t know that kind of fear
Not fear of natural disasters
Unavoidable depending on location
But fear of weapons
Created by man
Neighbor against neighbor
Strong overtaking weak
Seeking what?
Power and greed
Seem the most common answers-
I sit quietly
In my house
This morning
Unable to erase the image
Of a precious little girl
On the morning news
Her big eyes filled with tears
Hiding underground
Unable to block
The sounds of bombs
Exploding on the surface
Perhaps I should not try
To erase her image
Instead, let it sear into my memory
Reminding me to pray for light
To find her in that dark place

Once Again

On By Piano girl4 Comments

I see the notes
Gracefully strung
Across the staff
My hands
Gently fall
Onto the keys
Music drifts
Thru the air
Is this progression always the same?
So many things to consider
Things that may
Cause my eyes to fall
Leave my hands to drift
The music silenced
Tucked away
On its pages
Waiting patiently
For its turn
Once again
To speak
Drift thru the air
And keep me
From falling

I have been participating in writing circles with Ali Grimshaw https://flashlightbatteries.blog/ for almost two years now. Each experience reminds me that distance is not a determiner of meaningful connections. Ali provides a safe space for writing and sharing. Always with a reminder to send my critical voice to the other room.

I wrote the above poem in last night’s circle. ❤️

Living and Dying

On By Piano girl4 Comments

We only spoke on a few occasions. Short conversations, but a bit below the surface. You knew you were dying. Cancer was taking your body, but not your spirit. One day at a time, you’d smile. And your sweet husband would smile with you.

Your peaceful presence was drawing. And your dress was sassy, full of personality. I would like to have talked more. But your days were short, and interrupting family time didn’t seem appropriate.

There was one opportunity for an extended conversation. I discovered you both were retired teachers. Smiled listening to your stories. Gratefully accepted your encouragement as a teacher.

That evening was the last time we spoke. Sounds like you held on as long as you could.

You are no longer suffering. For that, I am thankful. But selfishly, I wish we’d had the chance to become friends.

We rarely know when
One conversation
Will be our last
And even if
We have an inkling
I expect our hearts
Won’t entertain until
We know for certain

Scenes from School

On By Piano girl4 Comments

Scene One: Fifth-Grade Boys

Fifth graders keep me on my toes. Some days, they leave me exhausted and a little frustrated. Other days, they leave me smiling and re-evaluating my life.

We have an afterschool program called Changemakers. Students create and present pitches to the community. Ideas to positively impact the future and make their community a better place to live.

One day last week, I received three business cards from fifth-grade boys. The first handed me his card as soon as he entered my room. The second came a little later during class. And the last one as the students was lining up to leave.

Each card read name, email, and Tulsa Changemakers. Any hesitations were erased when I expressed my excitement at receiving their cards.

Wow! Your own business card! This is great! I will keep these in my wallet.

These students will leave our building after this school year. They will find their way into their teen years. And hopefully, they will continue looking for ways to improve their community. I will be listening for those names!

Scene Two: Fridays and Kindergarten

Securing subs is a challenge these days. Cancellations happen, leaving staff to improvise, share responsibilities, etc. Our saying: It is what it is. We got you covered.

That brings me to kindergarten on Friday. I had an extra class. Students in the second class are not usually in my room. I may see them in the halls, but they don’t really know me.

A little girl from the other class started getting upset with a friend. I smiled. Do you want to come to sit by me? She did and within minutes had climbed up in my lap. She began to chat, asking about my earrings, girl talk. And then, as if our roles were reversed.

I am going to ask you a question. Tell me one thing that makes you happy. And one thing that makes you sad.

Hmmm. Of course, I had to answer.

Well, seeing all my kids makes me happy. They are all grown up. But I am going to see them all this evening! Saying goodbye to my mom and dad makes me sad. They live in another state, but I go visit sometimes.

Well, you should just go visit now!

They live about five hours from here.

Oh my! That would take at least three days!

Pretty sure I made a new friend. I know I met a young teacher. ❤️