Unwelcome thoughts interrupted my morning. In those early moments when it was unclear if I was awake or still dreaming. Images that made my heart sink.

An image of me trying to secure a class of elementary students in my storage closet. Was there enough room for everyone? Wait, there is a glass view window in the classroom door. Can I lock the closet door from the inside?

Next, my daughter is in a similar scene. Except hers is a high school special education classroom.

I know why these thoughts appeared today. 

A result of the news yesterday. 

Another school shooting…

There have been so many in our country, it is impossible to keep track. That statement makes me sad. And while I know I cannot live in that sadness, it must be acknowledged.

I choose not to live my life in the what if’s. Yet, as an educator, these stories are troubling. As a spouse and parent of educators, they are personal. For all of us, they are heartbreaking.

I do not write to offer a solution. Only to express my heart. The heart of a teacher who loves her students and would do anything to protect them. A teacher, like many others, who are tired of the ugly truths that bring these intrusive thoughts.

I am thankful for all the smiling faces that greeted me as they entered our beautiful school this morning. Those smiles helped push the sadness away.  

14 thoughts on “Intrusion

  1. The LIKE button is such a tough one to press for this story Kelley — not because of your story, but because of what prompted it — so very sad.
    What’s even sadder is that school shootings in the US have become so commonplace, they don’t even make our media here in Canada.
    Are we becoming inured to their presence? Accepting of their reality?
    I pray that is not true. May we never accept the loss of one life to a gunshot as a part of our human story.
    Sending you much loving light today my friend. Hugs and warm wishes for a calm, peaceful and joyful day with those beautiful children who are so blessed to have you as their teacher.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Worst days were always those we had to conduct lockdown drills. I recall all too well.
    Interestingly, I read this post right after watching a news update on the additional death at the latest school shooting and just after reading your poem “Out Of Reach”; Some days the / weight of worry / presses down, heavy…
    Indeed. Hang in there Kelley.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m sending you love and hugs my friend. I thought of you last night. These tragedies are senseless. My heart is with those lives lost and those lives that will never forget. May God heal our hurt. 😭😭💔💔🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You have shared the anxiety we all have very well. Seems we have become used to hearing of these tragedies one the news. Today on the new it was a passing after thought that Cooke County in Chicago has already had over 1000 shooting deaths many of them children caught in the cross fire. Unbelievable!

    Liked by 1 person

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