Finding My Way

The feeling of being
Lost-alone-not sure
Which way to go
Is most unpleasant
I remember being
Separated from
My mom once in
The grocery store
A few minutes
Felt like a
Frightening
Eternity-
Other times
I absolutely
Was not lost
Knew right where
I was headed
And yet, that same
Feeling from
The grocery store
Seemed to creep in
Completely
Engulfing me
Perhaps it was that
Still, small voice saying-
It’s ok to change course
Go an unfamiliar way
Yes, it might be a
Little scary at first
But possibilities
In newness
Are endless

This coming June will mark three years since my first blog post. The idea of putting my thoughts out there for anyone to see was a little frightening. I’m glad that fear didn’t stop me.

I continue to be amazed at the connections created with people from all parts of the world. And even though different from close friends and family, they brighten my world just the same.

June also brings the release of my first poetry collection. I am still pinching myself. Thanks to River Dixon of https://thestoriesinbetween.com/ and Potter’s Grove Press, it really is happening! Not available for order yet, but for info about the book, check out the following link.

https://pottersgrovepress.com/product/if-i-were-made-of-glass/

Sightline

Sightline is a common term in theater and art. It is also a buzzword in T.V. home renovation shows. As in, we must have a better line of sight to see the kids at all times. I understand the concept. And I can see the value at certain times.

Yesterday, I experienced a surprise sightline. One I never even considered. But once discovered, oh, so needed.

Due to COVID restrictions, we waited at an outside seating area during Dad’s heart surgery. Mom was the only one allowed in the surgery waiting room. Not complaining. We understand and appreciate the precautions.

However, the thought of her waiting alone…well, that was a hard one.

Of course, we could text and call, but nothing is the same as seeing, something we have all experienced during this time of the pandemic.

So, Mom calls:

“Are you still outside?”
“Yes.”
“I think I see you. Stand up and walk a few tables over.”
I walk.
“Yes! There you are!”
“Where are you?”
“Turn around and face the building. Now, look up toward the second floor.”

And there she stood, in the corner of the waiting room. We waved and laughed. It was a sweet turn of events.

A perfect sightline through several layers of glass and steel. An instant sense of joy and relief. A few moments of light-heartedness erasing the distance.

Update:

Dad’s surgery went very well! He is currently in ICU. This morning, he was sitting up in a chair. ❤ Only Mom can visit, but I was able to talk to him on the phone. So good to hear his voice.

Bird Songs

Sleep came easy
Pleasant surprise
I thought surely
It would evade
Instead, it was
Baby sleep sound
I woke to a
Familiar song
But my head
Was still dreamy
Wait-was it a dream?
No-a chorus
Of birds playing
In the morning sun
Their conversation lively
And filled with hope
For the day ahead
I listened as they sang
Outside my window-
A window in the house
Where I grew up-
Now I sit outside
A hospital in the town
Where I grew up-
I sit and wait
Thankful for sunshine
And blue skies
Thankful for prayers
And loving hearts-
Thankful for the birds
I hear singing even now
In this space between
Worry and peace

What is one word almost always associated with hospitals? Waiting! 😉 But that is ok. My dad is not the only person in need of surgery today. We are not the only families waiting outside during these unusual times. Dad and mom are patiently waiting in his room, updating us with texts. We are enjoying the sunshine. I continue to write in between conversations. It is one thing that helps keep my heart calm. ❤

Peeling Layers

Layers
Upon layers
Upon layers
Potatoes
Carrots
Onions
Each must lose
One of its layers
To fulfill
Its purpose
The sweetness inside
Filling the space
Between our actions
And our senses-
Layers
Upon layers
Upon layers
Grow over
Our hearts
A little harder
To peel away
Help is required
From a trusted hand
Precious insides
Revealed
Filling the space
Between our actions
And our senses
Healing the heart
Making us whole again

Standing Watch

One single feather
All on its own
Light and airy
Soft, comforting
I picture it lining
The nest of tiny
Hatchlings
Providing a pillow
For their unsteady
Little heads
Where was the feather before?
It has not always served alone.
Maybe it belonged to
The mother bird
Attached to her wings
One of many, together
Creating the power of flight
Strength to carry all things
Needed to provide for
And protect her young
Or maybe it fell from
The wings of an angel
Though unseen
Standing watch
Over the birds
Providing shelter
For my heart

Breathe Again

It feels like I’ve been
Holding my breath
For days and days
Waiting for results
Over which I had
Absolutely no control-
Control-I’m beginning
To think that word
Should be erased-
Is there any such thing anyway?
In an attempt, my brain
Played out both scenarios-
Good news and
Bad news-trying to
Foresee my reactions
Would I be brave?
Would I cry?
Would I crumble
Into a million tiny
Pieces on the floor?
Today was the day
The news was good
No sign of cancer!
My response?
A deep breath
Followed by tears-
Tears of relief and joy-
I can breathe again

Today, I am thankful for positive results. But I am also mindful of the many whose news was not positive. Many have fought the battle against cancer-friends and family. It seems to strike with little rhyme or reason. And whether their physical battle was won or lost, their bravery is lasting. I cannot celebrate today without also remembering…💗

Calling My Name

Water was rising
Along with it-fear
Threatening to take
Control of the day
As it covered first
Feet, then ankles,
And knees before
Briefly pausing
At the waist-
Desperate to find
A way out of the deep
Before suffocation
Reached the chest,
I closed my eyes-
Letting go of fear
Hope began to flow
Along with it-trust
Pushing and pulling
Through the currents
Inch by inch until
My feet stood
Once again
On the shore
Greeted by the love
That never stopped
Calling my name

Continue reading “Calling My Name”

Exciting News!

I don’t know where to begin. Yes, I am aware that sounds cliché, but it is the truth. Maybe I should write it out in its simplest form…

A collection of my poems is set to be released this summer! If I Were Made of Glass.  

The contract has been signed. I have seen a sneak peek of the cover idea, done some proof-reading, exchanged ideas-but it continues to feel surreal. 

I am grateful to River Dixon of Potter’s Grove Press and www.thestoriesinbetween.com for this opportunity. His creativity and insightfulness are a gift. I am honored to work with him. 

This truly is a dream come true. I cannot wait to share more details. Stay tuned! ❤

Lessons in the Fire

It has been many years since
I sat around a campfire,
Or any fire created by
Putting a flame to a branch
Once belonging to a tree

Recent fires were made from
Glass, manufactured logs, and gas
Although these provide heat
As well as beauty
Something was missing

Perhaps it was the smell
Rising from the meeting
Of flame and wood
Changing based on
The origin of the tree

Perhaps it was the sight
Of the ashes left behind
Once the fire has gone out
Reminding us of our origins
And where our bodies will return

An unquestioned reliance
Assures us one spark will
Transform the cold night air
Maybe that was the difference-
The cold night air

Actually, I think there are
Too many differences to count-
Each one offering lessons
Frailty and faithfulness in
The physical and spiritual

Shifting

Didn’t take long
A few minutes
Maybe five
My face turned
Toward the sun
Soaking up its
Light and warmth
Shifting my
Response
To this day
Cold air was
Not a deterrent
Favorite blue sweater
And soft grey slippers
Made certain of that
Back inside
Warm and cozy
Still wearing my
Favorite blue sweater
I continue to feel
The sun on my face
Though no longer
Standing in the
Path of its rays-
Didn’t take long
A few minutes
Maybe five

My friend, Marina, keeps telling me to get outside and soak up some Vitamin D. Today, I finally decided to listen! 😉
Sunshine On My Shoulders~~Kelley Morris, piano