Disappointment
Has the power
To freeze
Each fiber of
Imagination
Once faced
And released
Fears melt away
Leaving behind
A clean slate,
A catalyst
For growth
Taking a step
Back-viewing
The world with
Fresh eyes
Brings a new
Appreciation
Creativity
Awakens
Stirring
Both mind
And soul
Reigniting
Dreams
Tiny buds of worry
Anxiously wait
To be watered
Desiring to open
But hesitant
Unsure of responses
Will reactions
Be refreshing-
Like a gentle rain
Or harsh-
A downpour filled
With ice pellets
One response holds
The power to make
The buds shrink
Overcome by
Uncertainty until
They wither and die
The other holds the
Promise of washing
The worry away
Gently nurturing
Watching and listening
As confidence blooms
At the beginning of quarantine, we worked a couple of jigsaw puzzles at our house. A way to pass the time while keeping the brain working. It is always interesting to me to watch how tiny pieces fit together to create one big picture.
The pieces all have different colors and shapes. Each one with its own place. Only fitting together with those directly surrounding. The togetherness grows exponentially. However, if there is just one missing piece, the picture is incomplete. So frustrating.
Each of us is born into a picture. With a family that will love us and helps us grow. Sadly, that is not always the case. And the missing pieces often leave big holes.
Children especially have a difficult time finding their place when these pieces are missing. They do not understand. Whether withdrawing or acting out, they are seeking control. This is sometimes hard to remember as a teacher.
Yesterday, I reacted to certain behaviors with little thought to what was behind them. They were frustrated. I was frustrated. I kept thinking, “If only these friends would listen and follow directions like everyone else!”
This morning, I woke up thinking about those friends. I wanted to find a way to improve the situation. Find a way to encourage appropriate behavior and participation. After all, music class is supposed to be fun!
But how? One word came to mind-connections. I know that is the key. Sometimes I just need a reminder.
Today, I worked on those connections. In the process, I discovered some of the missing pieces. The death of a parent, negative influences from older siblings, family instability. These little ones are dealing with big emotions and don’t know why or how to express them.
Our time together was brief. Leaving me with more questions than answers. However, there was also a glimmer of hope. Little faces, often angry, smiling just a bit. Showing a desire to do the right thing. Even if only able for a limited amount of time.
There is no way for me to fill in those missing pieces. They are irreplaceable. All I can do is recognize and acknowledge. But maybe the edges can be blurred, and a new picture of belonging will emerge. Causing the frustrations of the missing pieces to fade.
Some days
On the inside
I am still a child
Finding her way in this
Ever-changing world
Asking the same
Old questions-
Where do I belong?
What is my purpose?
What happens next?
Other days
On the outside
Wonder abounds-
Light-lined clouds
Rumbling rolls of thunder
The rhythm of the rain-
Offering answers-
Right where you are
Exactly what you’re doing
One day at a time
Confident answers
That blanket the
Cares of adulthood
In warm affection
Leaving behind
Newfound freedom
And transformation-
Clouds become smiles
Thunder-outstretched hands
Rain-an arm around a shoulder
I suppose that child
Will always be there
Some days filled
With questions
Other days listening
For answers that
Continually fill with
Only one purpose-
To be spilled right
Back out again
We recently experienced some cooler summer temperatures, rare for Oklahoma in August. Beautiful mornings, perfect for sitting outside with a cup of coffee.
One of those mornings, I did just that-reading, listening to the birds, enjoying a few relaxing moments. And then it happened-a sweet little hummingbird flew up to our empty feeder.
Our other bird feeders have attracted a lot of visitors. I hear them chirping and see them fluttering in the yard multiple times during the day. But our hummingbird feeder? There were no visitors all summer long. The sweet nectar served mostly as food for the ants and liquid for the sun to evaporate.
Since there had been no visitors, it had not been refilled. Sadly, I watched the hummingbird quickly flit away. Needless to say, I quickly refilled the feeder. Was it too late? I didn’t know, but I certainly hoped.
Several days later, I noticed several hummingbirds coming to the feeder! I was so excited! They perched in our trees, and one even landed on a string of outside lights.
Not only were they fun to watch, but their strength also provided a reminder when the storms came a few days later. ❤
Flashes of lightning
Crashing thunder
And howling winds
Disrupted any
Possibility for sleep
Morning remained dark
As the rain poured
Down from clouds-
Sunshine began to
Light the day
While silent
Remnants of
The evening’s
Storm hid
In the breeze –
Hummingbirds flitted
Stopping briefly for
Sips of nectar-
One perched in
A nearby tree
Its tiny feet gripping
A skinny branch
As the leaf-covered
Limbs swayed
Back and forth-
This little miracle
Held firm and steady
While my tired heart
Watched in wonder
Listening to its message-
When the winds
Are tossing you
Back and forth
Just remember-
Keep holding on
These are difficult days. So many questions, so much confusion, so many tears. Yesterday’s rain reminded me that we have hope. And though there are more hard days ahead, we cannot give up. We must come together, lift each other up, and continue on…one step and a time. ❤
Raindrops teased
All morning long
Falling a few
At a time
With quiet
Drip-drops
Barely enough
To dampen my hair
By late afternoon
The sky grew dark-
No longer playing
Their little game,
The frightened raindrops
Huddled together
Creating steady streams
Flowing down from
Cloud to ground-
Proving there is
Strength in numbers,
The brave raindrops
Transformed themselves
Into a wall of water
Like a transparent curtain
Hanging from the sky-
Suddenly, the curtain fell
No longer flowing
From cloud to sky
Now a blanket of water
Flowing downward
Across the landscape
Carrying away
All the sorrows
Of the day-
And the sun began to shine.
“Have You Ever Seen the Rain” Kelley Morris, piano
The past few mornings have been rainy. It’s difficult to wake up and get moving when the sky is so gray. But yesterday morning, though rain still fell, had a different appearance.
Looking outside, I noticed the sky looked strange. The view out the back door was still mostly gray, but with an odd hint of pink. Looking out the front window showed the sun trying to shine through the rain. My first thought-I bet there is a rainbow.
So, I walked outside, and sure enough, there it was, a beautiful rainbow, the full arch, from one corner of the sky to the next. Little drops of rain fell on me as I took in its beauty. And then, of course, I had to snap a few pictures.
My eyes saw each color of the rainbow. Clear and bright. But when I looked at my photo, something was wrong. Still beautiful, but the colors seemed muted. Not what my mind remembered from just a few moments earlier.
I immediately began to edit my photo. Don’t you love those filters? But this took a lot of adjustments. I played with light, contrast, shadow, etc. Finally, I had a picture that represented what I had witnessed.
Why was it so important for me to change the original picture?
Seeing that rainbow brought a moment of beauty and peace during difficult days. And by sharing my photo, I hoped to share that experience. Maybe someone else needed that same kind of moment.
Which photo best represents what I actually saw? In my mind, it is the second. But logically, I know it is probably something in between the two. Maybe the second one is more representative of how I felt. Either way, that’s the way I saw it. And I think there’s a lesson in there somewhere… 🙂
The earth still spins
As the rain falls
On this new day
Looking only at me
Leads to apprehension
For today’s troubles
A clouded perspective
Heavy and gray
Veiled like the sun
It is difficult to
See the potential
For good…for love
But looking upward first
And then outward
Taking my eyes off of me
Allows powerful light
To brighten this
Gloomiest of days
Assurance of hope
Shining even in
The temporary gray
Oh it’s so hard to see
When my eyes are on me
-Keith Green “Make My Life a Prayer to You”
“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” John 1:5
Ever-present
All-around
Drifting in and
Out of sight
Head down
Hands in pockets
Woman standing
On the corner
Little boy sitting
On the playground
Lonely, forgotten
Left out of life
Simply existing
Outside of time
There’s a choice
To be made
Keep moving
And ignore? Or
Stop and stand
In one place
Long enough
To see them
Long enough
To be seen
Long enough
To remember-
Only existing is
Not really living-
The next step?
Offer a smile
Walk toward them
Seeing me in them
Until they are
No longer left out
Some days the
Weight of worry
Presses me down
And I am left crawling
Among the shadows
Hands and knees
Scraping the ground
Head low, feeling
Afraid and alone
Standing up
On my own
Is impossible-Yet,
A flicker of hope
Reminds me that
I am not alone
Like a child reaching
For their parent
I glance up as
His hands reach down
Lifting me out
Of the shadows
Gently placing me
Among the light
Of the stars
A time to rest
Preparation for
The day when
I will once again
Be found crawling
Among the shadows-
This is the journey–
To be traveled with
One lasting truth-
Wherever the road leads
I will never be
Out of reach
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”
James 1:17 NIV
