The ground Is parched Grass once green And inviting Grows brown Crunching Beneath my feet Trees struggle To survive Their leaves Hanging on For it’s too soon For them to fall One single spark And the results Would be Devastating Praying for rain
The Earth Is parched Tears shed in Sadness and grief But also in Reconciliation All dried up People struggle To survive Their children Hanging on For it’s too soon For them to fall One single spark And the results Would be Devastating Praying for rain
How can this be? Seems only yesterday The ground was wet With the tears of an entire world- Are there no more left to cry? I do not believe so, but what is the answer-
My soul Is thirsty Longing for A cool breeze A steady rain Not a storm Filled with Lightening And thunder No loud voices Sharing dissent For all to hear Instead, the quiet Whisper of love Sent in raindrops Coaxing our tears To once again join in Watering the ground
I have a storage closet inside my music classroom. Shelves lining both walls hold musical instruments. There are stacks of chairs in one corner and drums in the other.
At various times in the year, certain sets come out.
There is a narrow walkway between the shelving.
More than once this school year, I’ve glanced in there with the following thought: would I be able to fit an entire class of students in here? I’m not sure. If I quickly moved some things out. But would there be enough time?
That is where I stop my spiraling thoughts. Any further, and they’d be unbearable.
Every day, I stand on the sidewalk outside my school. Along with colleagues and student volunteers, make sure kids get safely to their cars.
Several times during the year, I almost left my phone inside the building. But then one thought would invade-what if something happens? An emergency? And quickly, I’d put my phone in my back pocket.
I’m not the only one carrying the weight of such thoughts. But we rarely talk about them. Until another tragedy occurs and we realize it could have been our school, our students, or our friends.
I see the sweet faces of the Uvalde, TX victims in photos shared by loved ones. I see the desperation in the sobs of those left to mourn and question.
My heart breaks.
But my sadness quickly turns to anger as I listen to sound bites. As I hear political figures speak of rights instead of solutions, perpetrators instead of victims.
There are solutions. And please don’t tell me there are no laws or policy changes that would affect this epidemic of gun violence in our country. There are. And they are logical. Why do we refuse to take a stand in their favor? Well, that’s a matter of the heart.
Another School day Filled with Laughter Learning Love Shattered By sounds Gunshots Impact Screams Cries for help Violent deaths Followed by Silence- Children Teachers Hiding, frightened Training put Into action Training That should never Have been necessary For actions That should never Have occurred
When will we decide enough is enough? When will we choose love instead of hate? When will we weep instead of arguing?
Mourn for Innocent lives Left lying On the floor Of the very place They should have been safe
Today was our last day of school. Smiles, tears, good-byes. Ready for summer break. I drove home, exhausted. And then, I heard the news of another school shooting at an elementary school.
Listening to the reports was heartbreaking. And then there was a comment about training. The fact that students and teachers were hiding as they practiced. The same drills I have had to discuss or practice with students. It should not be this way. 💔
Unwelcome thoughts interrupted my morning. In those early moments when it was unclear if I was awake or still dreaming. Images that made my heart sink.
An image of me trying to secure a class of elementary students in my storage closet. Was there enough room for everyone? Wait, there is a glass view window in the classroom door. Can I lock the closet door from the inside?
Next, my daughter is in a similar scene. Except hers is a high school special education classroom.
I know why these thoughts appeared today.
A result of the news yesterday.
Another school shooting…
There have been so many in our country, it is impossible to keep track. That statement makes me sad. And while I know I cannot live in that sadness, it must be acknowledged.
I choose not to live my life in the what if’s. Yet, as an educator, these stories are troubling. As a spouse and parent of educators, they are personal. For all of us, they are heartbreaking.
I do not write to offer a solution. Only to express my heart. The heart of a teacher who loves her students and would do anything to protect them. A teacher, like many others, who are tired of the ugly truths that bring these intrusive thoughts.
I am thankful for all the smiling faces that greeted me as they entered our beautiful school this morning. Those smiles helped push the sadness away.
Driving home In darkness News of the day Settled in Sorrow For lives Once again Tragically taken Sadness For those Left to grieve The unthinkable Each of us Knows loss Death is part Of this life- But for this… No words Only tears Falling from My eyes Only tears Falling From the sky Driving home In darkness
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12:18