Kind words
I didn’t know
I needed to hear
You look so pretty
So grounded
From someone
Who has not seen me
In almost a year-
Heartfelt words
Offering
Reassurance
That time
Paired with
Effort and grace
Carries restoration
Twice this week, I ran into friends who are former colleagues. Smiles, hugs, and kind words filled the space we occupied. The visits were brief but left me feeling encouraged.
Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24
Little hands
Being held
Little hands
Holding on
Pulling, stretching
Twisting, turning
Muscles growing stronger
Until…Suddenly
She lets go!
Finding herself
In a new position
With a new perspective
Her world
Growing bigger
With each turn
Each smile
Each Way to go!
And We love you!
Keep rolling
Baby girl
We are watching
You probably guessed already, but sweet Emi rolled over! We just happened to be on a video chat at that very moment. What a fun celebration! Roll, Emi, roll! ❤️
I am sure time has passed exponentially faster since I became a Gigi…
Yesterday, I
Suddenly remembered
How much I miss you-
At a wedding
Of all places-
Not that I had
Forgotten
It’s just that
Life keeps going
And the missing
Gets all twisted
Within the living-
Yesterday, I
Suddenly remembered
How much I miss you
But the catch in my throat
Turned into a smile
An unexpected surprise
My husband and I attended a wedding yesterday. The groom is the son of our friends. The father-of-the-groom speech caught me by surprise. When he talked about cultivating a friendship with his new daughter-in-law, I immediately thought of my father-in-law. I smiled at the thought of how we teased each other. And how we both had a sweet tooth.
Then I thought about all the others that have passed. My dad, grandparents, friends. But in this moment, it was not sadness I felt. It was gratitude. ❤️
Internal eye rolls
Awkward silences
Short-lived
Moments
Remaining
In Memories
Holding
Potential
For regrets
That is, until…
I find myself
On the other side
And any possible
Regret instantly
Transforms into
Appreciation
Understanding-
Now, the parent
Then, the child
Now, the one
Wide Awake
Late at night
Praying
As each name
Each face
Each concern
Crosses my heart
The one hoping
To offer reassurance
Yesterday fades
Into the light
Of tomorrow
Hellos and
Goodbyes
Echoing
All along its
Colorful trek
Remembering
Without
Looking back
There is little
Room for
Looking back
Only for living
Within each
Change of color
Quietly guiding
Measure by measure-
Yesterday fades
Into the light
Of tomorrow
Greeted
By today-
Time spent with Miss Emi reminds me of the importance of being present. Taking it all in. Not simply for remembering but as part of living. This weekend was filled with baby noises, eating, playing, napping, and lots of family! Oh, and just a tiny bit of shopping. 😉
I am grateful. I am also beginning to understand why my mom always said the house was too quiet after one of our visits with our kiddos. ❤️
One may
Cause me
To cry
Another
To laugh
Maybe both
At the same time
But I cannot
Travel
Back in time or
Remain endlessly
Engrossed
In a single
Snapshot
Even when it
Has the power
To wrap me up
In a cocoon
Turning my heart
Inside out
As it mixes
The broken
With the upheld
Before releasing
This time
It snuck in
With a dream
One of those
Chaotic
Makes-no-sense
Dreams
Ending suddenly
In a moment
Of clarity-
A familiar photo
From the past
One I have seen
Many times-
And I woke up
Remembering
How much I miss you
After a great first week at my new job, I wasn’t expecting a visit from grief. But that’s how it goes. My capacity to hold this grief will continue to grow. That acceptance that death is part of life. It does not make me miss my dad any less. But it does allow me to both cry and smile over sweet memories. ❤️
We grew up together. Cousins, a curious mix of family and friends. If I’ve ever talked to you about cousins, you know I have twenty-five first cousins on my mom’s side of the family! I love sharing that fact.
This group was enveloping. Some older, some younger, and some the same age. We played hard and fought sometimes. Learned how to hold babies when a new cousin came along. The older ones served as built-in babysitters.
Now, we’re all grown up. We each took our own path. Don’t see each other often, maybe at a funeral or a rare holiday visit. But when one is sick, as is currently the case, or facing challenges, there is a flood of memories and emotions.
In those moments, I picture us as kids again. Running and playing with no thoughts of accidents, cancer, or death. But reality snaps me back with one look in the mirror. The truth is unavoidable. We are no longer kids.
That truth mixes with our history, leaving me grateful that we grew up together. Leaving me wanting to say, I love you.
It is not an
Exaggeration to say
Some moments
It feels like
My heart
Might explode
Several chapters
Lived over time
Love, joy, grief
Converge at once
Holding hands
Across my story
One sweet sentence
From a paragraph
That I never
Want to forget
Though impossible
To clearly express
Lately, emotions seem to well up, catching me by surprise.
A sweet conversation with Mom. A moment of missing Dad. Crying on my husband’s shoulder. Chats with my adult children. Watching my son and daughter-in-law care for my granddaughter.
Both the enormity and the smallness of life collide. And I feel every single moment right in the center of my chest. ❤️
Words are stuck
Crawling
Through the fog
In my brain
Thoughts swirl
Bumping
Into each other
Vying for attention
Light approaches
Burning away the fog
Sorting through my thoughts-
Perhaps I should close
My heavy eyes
Lay my head back
And bask in the warmth
Of the Light on my face
Watching sweet Emi fall asleep is a gift. That transition from active to hungry to sleepy-we all know it well.
She doesn’t want to miss a thing!
I’ve used that phrase many times. And it’s true! Babies will sometimes work so hard to stay awake. Truthfully, we adults often do the same. Instead of listening to our tired bodies and minds, we keep pushing.
It’s ok. Lay your head back. Close your eyes. The world won’t stop spinning. 😉
Piano Girl 