When we know what our children want from life, we want those things for them. Whether it is finding that first apartment, going to college, getting a job, or finding their life partner.
That last one has its challenges. Finding that one person who gets us. One who loves us for who we are. But when it happens, there’s a profound combination of excitement and calm.
All that being said…
Our daughter, Rachel, got engaged this week! ❤️ Simply seeing the smile on her face (and his) makes me happy. And seeing them together gives me hope for the future.
Evenly spaced rows Of gently waving wheat Wonderfully wound Bales of hay Equally sided cubes Childhood toys Labeled with letters, Numbers and pictures Ready to be Neatly stacked Then knocked over Only to be Stacked again- Little hands reaching Sleepyhead resting On my shoulder Comforting weight Beneath the rise and fall Of sweet slumber- Calm exists within The routine On any given day- Whether passing by Or sitting in the center
I don’t know how To prepare myself I’m not sure It is even possible Some things are like that …most things are like that But this is…different A certain stopover On this fresh journey Known as grief- So much can change In the blink of a year Starting a new job Becoming a Gigi Or, in Mom’s case A Great Grandma So much remains The love of family And missing you
Strange to think My voice sounds Different to your ears Than to mine- An awareness Only realized When recorded And played back- Like listening To a stranger Nothing at all Like the voice Inside my head- Sounds odd to me But you don’t Seem to mind- I guess all that Truly matters Is for the voice Inside my head To match the one Inside my heart
Two Sisters–Written and read by Kelley Morris
The recorded poem is from my latest collection, Quiet Embers: Poetry of Faith. Available here: https://a.co/d/89QGhz8 💜
Happily sitting Soaking In the smiles An observer Of the ones Who make me What I am And fill me To my core Precious days Marked by traditions And Celebration Momentary stops On this continuing Path called Carrying Grief Where the hellos Grow sweeter And the goodbyes Last longer- A temptation To hold on too tight Tries to sneak in But letting go Through the tears Is the only way To feel fresh air Enter my lungs Clear my head And heal my heart
This Christmas holiday season has been sweet. So much laughter and thoughtful gifts, surrounded by my family. Not to mention the yummy food!
But I was not prepared for the goodbyes.
Goodbyes are reminders of missing. And we are all missing Dad. The goodbyes brought tears and swells of grief. But they also left behind gratitude. A reminder that the depth of missing matches the depth of love.
I took a step Into the cold Where heavy Shadows held The quiet morning In stillness- One more step And the motion Of sunbeams Began to light The tiptop Of the day- A few more steps Morning’s shadows Were left behind As affectionate Sunlight reached The ground below And I walked Into the day Thankful for The Love that Creates the shade While pushing The darkness away
Since Dad passed, Mom has asked several times if there was anything of his I wanted. Initially, I took a couple of his sweater vests. I knew how much he liked wearing them. My mother-in-law made a sweet teddy bear from them that now sits in my studio.
When Mom would ask again, I really couldn’t think of anything else. That is, until this past weekend.
While in Little Rock picking up Mom for Christmas, I noticed my niece wearing one of Dad’s Razorback sweatshirts. It made me smile. And it helped us talk about him and how much we miss him. So, I asked about his other Razorback shirts.
Mom brought out two long-sleeve T-shirts and a jacket for me. I wasn’t sure if I’d wear them, but having them seemed right. If you know my dad, you know he loved to cheer on the Razorbacks. If they happened to be playing on network TV, he would watch. Otherwise, he had his radio nearby and tuned in to listen.
Well, today is Christmas Eve. And I decided to try on one of the shirts with some black leggings. Turned out to be the perfect choice. I miss him so much. But today, I am smiling as I remember.
Holding My breath Muscles tense Heart racing Afraid to move- You take my hand It’s ok-breathe I feel my lungs Expand Deep breath Fresh air Relaxing In your care Unable to Completely Close off My heart As we Breathe In time Together
Yesterday, I celebrated my 56th birthday! And my oldest son celebrated his 29th. I’ve been a mom for 29 years. This year, I watched as my son became a parent. And Gigi is now on the list of names to which I answer. What a gift!