Today feels Anything But simple It feels torn I feel torn Sunshine skies In front of me Clear and blue A stark contrast To the images Of gray skies Streets filled with Ash and rubble Seen on the news- My mind knows And history tells us Not all people Are free or safe From the exploits Of evil men Yet, my heart Is unable To reconcile- An image of A Ukrainian mom Her only thought Protecting her family From surrounding Destruction and death… I cannot know The heaviness Of her heart Yet, I must not look away Watching Praying For a glimmer of hope A family reunited While never Forgetting Images snapped By cameras- Images of death And innocence stolen For all the world to see- Do we truly see?
If your tears flowed From my eyes Instead of your own Would I feel your pain? Would I understand What brings you joy?
If your heart Beat strong Inside my chest Would you know My fears? Sense My excitement?
Physically impossible We are worlds apart Yet, if I stare long enough At your image to gain A glimpse into your soul What might occur?
Would my life change? Would yours? Sympathy morphing Into understanding And understanding Flying into action
I am not you You are not me Yet, if we seek- Peer deep enough Perhaps we would Grasp the mystery
We are not so unlike.
Listening to this song a few weeks back, I was drawn to write. But days have been long. And my brain has been saying rest. Then today, I heard it again. This time, I couldn’t ignore it. As a matter of fact, I sat in my car in the garage until the song was over. Take a listen. ❤️
Way too young Senseless death Gun violence Once again This time I can’t ignore Won’t let my heart Become numb This time I can see The one left behind Her heart Broken into pieces That may never Fit back together No matter The time That passes- Right now The grief is fresh Eyes wet with tears At the mention Of her loss Or a gentle hand On her shoulder Don’t hide them Though they fall Because of loss They also fall Because of love
This story is one of many. Too many. Young adults ready to take on this world, taken too soon. Though it is not my story to tell, listening touched my heart. I could not walk away without taking time to acknowledge the grief, the hurting left behind. And also the love and strength showing through the pain. 💔
My email inbox is quick to get overloaded. Because I tend to ignore it. Until the thousands of unread messages are overwhelming.
My daughter gets after me about this habit quite often. But she is also quick to help. And I must admit, it is a relief to see that empty inbox.
Today, its state is somewhere in between control and chaos. Cluttered, but not enough where I might miss an important message.
…like the one that arrived this morning with a swoosh.
I have met so many amazing people through the writing circle process. One of those sweet friends recently asked if I’d like to be on her mailing list. She sends a weekly letter out to a few friends.
Due to the often out-of-control state of my inbox, I almost declined. So thankful that I did not.
Her words are always timely, and today was no exception. Acknowledging the worries of this world while also brightly shining her light. Honest and challenging. Reading her words, I often find myself saying, Me,too! That fact alone places her emails at the top of my must-read column.
So, if you are feeling heavy today, you are not alone. And just as I received encouragement, long distance-may I offer some to you?
Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up. Proverbs 12:25
Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24
Thinking I need to re-read.❤️
“All of us, at some time or other, need help. Whether we’re giving or receiving help, each one of us has something valuable to bring to this world. That’s one of the things that connects us as neighbors—in our own way, each one of us is a giver and a receiver.” -Fred Rogers
Every sound Amplified As if a megaphone Was pointed directly Into my ear Each step Heavier than The one before I try to smile It’s not all bad But, yesterday was great! Why does today feel so opposite? Same place Same plans The same me-I think So, what could it be? Energy expended Yesterday Not recouped For today Just two recommendations- First, listen as Five and six-year-olds Sing their favorite songs Second, go home And take a nap
A great day of teaching requires a great deal of energy. Those where I wake up rested and ready tend to be the best. I can focus on the students and the music, all of us engaged and having fun.
But oh, those days when I did not sleep well the night before. Or some unexpected stress. Those days can be a struggle. My lack of energy affects my focus. If I am not engaged, neither are my students.
Teaching is both challenging and rewarding work! Some days will not go as planned. But some days are not all days. Children singing, particularly songs from the movie Encanto, and naps help. 😉 ❤️
Every day, I drive past a field A house and barn on one side Two horses roaming Rolling hills behind tree lines It seems so simple The roots of joy flowing from this place On certain days Days when the resident family of deer is grazing Often in the early morning, I spot them Spread-out, enjoying a quiet breakfast Often in the afternoon, I spot them Playing on the hills behind the trees I always want to stop and snap a picture But there’s never time or space for that- Other cars and such- I feel sad on the days when I can’t spot My little family of deer
Dominoes Carefully Lined up Waiting patiently Their rhythmic fall Will soon begin One onto the next Onto the next
Dominoes Carefully Lined up Impatient Some hopping Out of line Causing gaps Heavy sighs
Dominoes Neatly stacked Back inside Their box Resting quietly Until the box opens Revealing tomorrow’s Best-laid plans
Due to President’s Day and icy weather, we only had one day of in-person school last week. It was not my best teaching day. Also, not my worst, but…Whew! I went home exhausted and a teeny bit irritable.
The struggles started with step one. Some I was able to fix, others I was not. No need to name them. That would only serve to re-ignite feelings of frustration.
That is teaching. That is life. No matter our plans. Rarely do all the dominoes fall in perfect order. And truthfully, that should not be the goal.
Here’s to a new week, new plans, and renewed purpose. And hopefully, a bit more patience.
I sit quietly In my house This morning Drinking hot tea Watching the morning news Never having experienced the kind of fear That would cause me to flee my home Searching for a place of safety A shelter under the ground Where explosions above That will destroy my home And those of my friends and family Cannot reach my children I don’t know that kind of fear Not fear of natural disasters Unavoidable depending on location But fear of weapons Created by man Neighbor against neighbor Strong overtaking weak Seeking what? Power and greed Seem the most common answers- I sit quietly In my house This morning Unable to erase the image Of a precious little girl On the morning news Her big eyes filled with tears Hiding underground Unable to block The sounds of bombs Exploding on the surface Perhaps I should not try To erase her image Instead, let it sear into my memory Reminding me to pray for light To find her in that dark place
I see the notes Gracefully strung Across the staff My hands Gently fall Onto the keys Music drifts Thru the air Is this progression always the same? So many things to consider Things that may Cause my eyes to fall Leave my hands to drift The music silenced Tucked away On its pages Waiting patiently For its turn Once again To speak Drift thru the air And keep me From falling
I have been participating in writing circles with Ali Grimshaw https://flashlightbatteries.blog/ for almost two years now. Each experience reminds me that distance is not a determiner of meaningful connections. Ali provides a safe space for writing and sharing. Always with a reminder to send my critical voice to the other room.
We only spoke on a few occasions. Short conversations, but a bit below the surface. You knew you were dying. Cancer was taking your body, but not your spirit. One day at a time, you’d smile. And your sweet husband would smile with you.
Your peaceful presence was drawing. And your dress was sassy, full of personality. I would like to have talked more. But your days were short, and interrupting family time didn’t seem appropriate.
There was one opportunity for an extended conversation. I discovered you both were retired teachers. Smiled listening to your stories. Gratefully accepted your encouragement as a teacher.
That evening was the last time we spoke. Sounds like you held on as long as you could.
You are no longer suffering. For that, I am thankful. But selfishly, I wish we’d had the chance to become friends.
We rarely know when One conversation Will be our last And even if We have an inkling I expect our hearts Won’t entertain until We know for certain
Piano Girl 