Tag: hope

Family Trees

On By Piano girl4 Comments

We closely watched
As our children grew
Each part of us
Each their own
A continuation
Of family trees
With roots and branches
You and I will never know-
We’ve heard stories of
Transplanted roots
Broken branches
Colorful leaves
We’ve watched
More than once
As one season ended
And a new one began
Love and joy seeded
Along with pain
And heartache-
Seems strange
Speaking of them
In the same breath
Yet, here they are
Wise falling leaf
Innocent Spring bud
Quietly encouraging me
To embrace this current season-

Do not look too far ahead.
Do not look too far behind.
Do not hang on so tight,
That you miss
The peaceful wind
Blowing thru your hair.

Butterflies and Babies

On By Piano girl2 Comments

Sweetly swaddled
Snuggled in tight
Outside noises
Muffled
To protect
Tiny ears
Eyes remain
Sheltered
From the
Bright sun
Not yet ready
To greet this world
Until suddenly
Both protected
And protector
Are thrown into
A realm full of
New sounds
New feelings
New sensations
Why should we
Expect anything
Less than tears
And awe
And wonder

Once again, I am thinking about this life and its comparisons with butterflies. We often focus on the result. A beautiful new life in living color, floating thru the air. But we immediately forget the struggle required to get there.

Exactly one week ago, we met our sweet granddaughter. It was about an hour after she was born. Her feelings concerning the previous few hours were clear. Her cry was strong and sweet, heartbreaking and reassuring.

A couple hours later, the grandparents were ready to hold her. She was swaddled tight and sleeping. The only problem occurred when it was someone else’s turn. She would start crying every time there was a shift.

How dare you hand me over to someone else! I was comfy and just beginning to like you!

I had not given prolonged thought to the shock mamas and babies experience. And then I saw it from Gigi’s point of view-not dwelling, simply acknowledging. 💗

Simply Sunday

On By Piano girl11 Comments

Simply hearing
You arrived safely
And every ounce
Of worry disappeared
Simply seeing
Your sweet face
And my heart
Filled to overflowing-
I am convinced
Our capacity
To love grows
Exponentially
With the birth
Of a child
And when that baby
Is a grandchild-
Well, I will keep
Searching for words
And let you know-
It’s going to be an adventure! 💗

A happy Gigi!
A smitten Papa!
Rockstar parents!
Sweet Emilia! 💗

Living

On By Piano girlLeave a comment

I used to find the idea of regularly visiting a cemetery puzzling. Not in a disrespectful way. My thought was-Well, I know they are not there.

Today, Mom sent me a photo of Dad’s newly installed headstone. I’m beginning to understand the pull.

As I looked at the design, zooming in on details, I saw the story. Names and dates that represent what was and what continues. Birth, marriage, death-pieces of a beautiful puzzle. A puzzle to which I also belong.

I hope to visit soon. 💙


Stories etched 
In granite gray
Beginnings 
And endings 
Bordered by 
And filled in 
With love 
And hope
A serene spot 
Shaped for 
The kind of 
Remembering 
That leads  
To living

Spilling Out

On By Piano girl6 Comments

Constantly bombarded
By outside sources
A cunning attempt
To create doubt
Are you happy with your appearance?
Wouldn’t you like to be thinner?
Don’t you want to look younger?
If those wrinkles
Around my eyes
And in the corners
Of my mouth
Are tracing the years
Of laughter and tears
Why would I erase them?
If my body is
Telling the story
Of birthing three children
Loving the same man
For more than thirty years
And knowing the grief of loss
Why would I not let it speak?
I am a journey
Of experiences
And emotions
Spilling out
Along the road
For others to see
No apologies
Only grace
Accepted
And shared


Simply Sunday

On By Piano girl15 Comments

You Can Call Me…

We are officially on baby watch! Emilia is due May 23. Doctor appointments are happening weekly. The parents-to-be are excited, anxious, and tired. But I have no doubt they are ready.

There is one thing I have not been able to decide. What is this sweet baby going to call me? Gart says he is Papa, easy-peasy. Not so for me.

I have tried on multiple titles in a variety of phrases.

Nana loves you.
I’m so glad to be your Mimi.
Hi, Emilia. Grandma is here.

You get the idea.

Well, the other night I had a dream. A baby was crying. I remember walking up some stairs toward the crying. And right before I woke up, I heard it-Gigi.

Hmmm…I could get used to that. If Emilia approves, that is.

One last weekend visit before baby arrives! ❤️

Counting Moments

On By Piano girl4 Comments

It seemed so silly. Embarrassing, almost. Crying in front of a perfect stranger. A customer, at that.

He asked about music: music that reminded me of Dad. The songs could have been a playlist from my dad’s eight-track player in his truck. If playlists had been such a thing back then.

He responded with words of understanding. His eyes reassuringly glistened. We talked about how he had played piano when he was younger. Now that he was retired, he might have more time to play.

I encouraged him to continue playing. Even mentioned taking lessons. He left with a registration form in hand.

A chance meeting? Or maybe, just maybe, a moment worth counting.

Fast forward a few weeks. And a now familiar face walked in the door.

Hi, Mike!

Oh, you remember me?

Of course! I told my family how I had cried in front of a perfect stranger at work!

We both smiled. There were no tears this time.

Decided I would like to sign up for those piano lessons. When can we start?

I no longer felt silly or embarrassed. Instead, I held a moment of awe in the middle of my heart, standing in the middle of a music store.

Planting Harmony

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Driving down
A two-lane road
Rows and rows
Of sprouting crops
Wrap me in
A soothing hug-
So much has
Happened
Is still happening
Above and below
The Earth to ensure
Their survival…and mine–
Within their embrace
I see logic planted
In harmonic lines
Mathematics
Mixed with music
My heart beats
In the spaces
Between each
Row of green
My soul sings
Sweet and free
Not wanting
This song to end

Remedies

On By Piano girl12 Comments 
I want it to
Go away
The feeling itself
And the way
It makes me feel
Yesterday
It refused-
Sticking around
Like a dull
Headache
Affecting
All of me-
Blurry vision
Upset stomach
Tense muscles-
So it goes
With anger
But like that
Dull headache
I know it will ease
When carefully
Tended with
The right remedies 

Anger is listed in the stages of grief. But somehow, I was not expecting it to be part of my experience. That is not my personality. Nor did I understand its close relationship with sadness. That is, until this week.

Driving to work Monday, I had a sudden image of Mom and Dad at home. They were going through their morning routine, smiling. I smiled. Just as suddenly, I felt mad. Angry at the reality that he is not there with her.

Honestly, I did not recognize it as anger at first. But it did not fade. Two things helped. Naming it and allowing it to work its way out thru tears.

Smiling helps, too. It's just that some days that requires a bit more intention.😊

Simply Sunday

On By Piano girl8 Comments

The Firsts

I have felt
The joy in
Celebrating
The firsts-
Smiles
Steps
Words
Birthdays
The one being
Celebrated
Too young
To remember
Yet, later seeing
Thru the eyes
Of those who
Were present
Knowing their
Foundation
Was built
In love-
Strange how
Those firsts
Continue
But change
After one is gone
A birthday
An anniversary
A holiday
Without them
The one being
Remembered
Not here, and yet
Our tears
And smiles
Confirmation
Of that same
Foundation
Still standing

This is our first Easter without Dad. Just me and Mom watching church online as my Uncle James preached from the church where he and my Aunt Martha serve in Massachusetts. It was quiet. The message was hopeful. And we are thankful. Happy Easter! 🕊