Author: Piano girl

Wife, mom of three, friend, teacher, pianist. Learn from the past, live in the moment, hope for the future.

Two Recommendations

On By Piano girl4 Comments

Every sound
Amplified
As if a megaphone
Was pointed directly
Into my ear
Each step
Heavier than
The one before
I try to smile
It’s not all bad
But, yesterday was great!
Why does today feel so opposite?
Same place
Same plans
The same me-I think
So, what could it be?
Energy expended
Yesterday
Not recouped
For today
Just two recommendations-
First, listen as
Five and six-year-olds
Sing their favorite songs
Second, go home
And take a nap

A great day of teaching requires a great deal of energy. Those where I wake up rested and ready tend to be the best. I can focus on the students and the music, all of us engaged and having fun.

But oh, those days when I did not sleep well the night before. Or some unexpected stress. Those days can be a struggle. My lack of energy affects my focus. If I am not engaged, neither are my students.

Teaching is both challenging and rewarding work! Some days will not go as planned. But some days are not all days. Children singing, particularly songs from the movie Encanto, and naps help. 😉 ❤️

Simply Sunday

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Simplest of Joys

Every day, I drive past a field
A house and barn on one side
Two horses roaming
Rolling hills behind tree lines
It seems so simple
The roots of joy flowing from this place
On certain days
Days when the resident family of deer is grazing
Often in the early morning, I spot them
Spread-out, enjoying a quiet breakfast
Often in the afternoon, I spot them
Playing on the hills behind the trees
I always want to stop and snap a picture
But there’s never time or space for that-
Other cars and such-
I feel sad on the days when I can’t spot
My little family of deer

Best-Laid Plans

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Dominoes
Carefully
Lined up
Waiting patiently
Their rhythmic fall
Will soon begin
One onto the next
Onto the next

Dominoes
Carefully
Lined up
Impatient
Some hopping
Out of line
Causing gaps
Heavy sighs

Dominoes
Neatly stacked
Back inside
Their box
Resting quietly
Until the box opens
Revealing tomorrow’s
Best-laid plans

Due to President’s Day and icy weather, we only had one day of in-person school last week. It was not my best teaching day. Also, not my worst, but…Whew! I went home exhausted and a teeny bit irritable.

The struggles started with step one. Some I was able to fix, others I was not. No need to name them. That would only serve to re-ignite feelings of frustration.

That is teaching. That is life. No matter our plans. Rarely do all the dominoes fall in perfect order. And truthfully, that should not be the goal.

Here’s to a new week, new plans, and renewed purpose. And hopefully, a bit more patience.

Morning News

On By Piano girl5 Comments

I sit quietly
In my house
This morning
Drinking hot tea
Watching the morning news
Never having experienced the kind of fear
That would cause me to flee my home
Searching for a place of safety
A shelter under the ground
Where explosions above
That will destroy my home
And those of my friends and family
Cannot reach my children
I don’t know that kind of fear
Not fear of natural disasters
Unavoidable depending on location
But fear of weapons
Created by man
Neighbor against neighbor
Strong overtaking weak
Seeking what?
Power and greed
Seem the most common answers-
I sit quietly
In my house
This morning
Unable to erase the image
Of a precious little girl
On the morning news
Her big eyes filled with tears
Hiding underground
Unable to block
The sounds of bombs
Exploding on the surface
Perhaps I should not try
To erase her image
Instead, let it sear into my memory
Reminding me to pray for light
To find her in that dark place

Once Again

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I see the notes
Gracefully strung
Across the staff
My hands
Gently fall
Onto the keys
Music drifts
Thru the air
Is this progression always the same?
So many things to consider
Things that may
Cause my eyes to fall
Leave my hands to drift
The music silenced
Tucked away
On its pages
Waiting patiently
For its turn
Once again
To speak
Drift thru the air
And keep me
From falling

I have been participating in writing circles with Ali Grimshaw https://flashlightbatteries.blog/ for almost two years now. Each experience reminds me that distance is not a determiner of meaningful connections. Ali provides a safe space for writing and sharing. Always with a reminder to send my critical voice to the other room.

I wrote the above poem in last night’s circle. ❤️

Living and Dying

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We only spoke on a few occasions. Short conversations, but a bit below the surface. You knew you were dying. Cancer was taking your body, but not your spirit. One day at a time, you’d smile. And your sweet husband would smile with you.

Your peaceful presence was drawing. And your dress was sassy, full of personality. I would like to have talked more. But your days were short, and interrupting family time didn’t seem appropriate.

There was one opportunity for an extended conversation. I discovered you both were retired teachers. Smiled listening to your stories. Gratefully accepted your encouragement as a teacher.

That evening was the last time we spoke. Sounds like you held on as long as you could.

You are no longer suffering. For that, I am thankful. But selfishly, I wish we’d had the chance to become friends.

We rarely know when
One conversation
Will be our last
And even if
We have an inkling
I expect our hearts
Won’t entertain until
We know for certain

Scenes from School

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Scene One: Fifth-Grade Boys

Fifth graders keep me on my toes. Some days, they leave me exhausted and a little frustrated. Other days, they leave me smiling and re-evaluating my life.

We have an afterschool program called Changemakers. Students create and present pitches to the community. Ideas to positively impact the future and make their community a better place to live.

One day last week, I received three business cards from fifth-grade boys. The first handed me his card as soon as he entered my room. The second came a little later during class. And the last one as the students was lining up to leave.

Each card read name, email, and Tulsa Changemakers. Any hesitations were erased when I expressed my excitement at receiving their cards.

Wow! Your own business card! This is great! I will keep these in my wallet.

These students will leave our building after this school year. They will find their way into their teen years. And hopefully, they will continue looking for ways to improve their community. I will be listening for those names!

Scene Two: Fridays and Kindergarten

Securing subs is a challenge these days. Cancellations happen, leaving staff to improvise, share responsibilities, etc. Our saying: It is what it is. We got you covered.

That brings me to kindergarten on Friday. I had an extra class. Students in the second class are not usually in my room. I may see them in the halls, but they don’t really know me.

A little girl from the other class started getting upset with a friend. I smiled. Do you want to come to sit by me? She did and within minutes had climbed up in my lap. She began to chat, asking about my earrings, girl talk. And then, as if our roles were reversed.

I am going to ask you a question. Tell me one thing that makes you happy. And one thing that makes you sad.

Hmmm. Of course, I had to answer.

Well, seeing all my kids makes me happy. They are all grown up. But I am going to see them all this evening! Saying goodbye to my mom and dad makes me sad. They live in another state, but I go visit sometimes.

Well, you should just go visit now!

They live about five hours from here.

Oh my! That would take at least three days!

Pretty sure I made a new friend. I know I met a young teacher. ❤️

What Was I?

On By Piano girl9 Comments

A calm voice
Soothes the heart
Like a quiet breeze
Soothes the rose

A harsh voice
Stirs up conflict
Like a strong wind
Stirs up dust

What was I today?

The boisterous wind
Leaving friends
And strangers alike
With dirt in their eyes?

The gentle breeze
Leaving nothing behind
But the faint memory
Of a well-timed smile?

What will I be tomorrow?

The Oklahoma winds are strong this week. A chance of storms in our forecast. The last two afternoons, outside car duty, have left me with dirt in my eyes. That unpleasantness caused me to think of how I react in certain situations. I have a choice to be calm or stormy. Tomorrow, may I lean more toward the first.

Sleeping

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In the quiet
Of the morning
Stoically
Standing
Seeking no attention
Trees line its ridge
Bare, unmoving
No colors
To catch my eye
And yet, I stop
And stare
As it sleeps-
I imagine its base
Collecting warmth
From the sun’s rays
Storing the energy
Soon required for waking
Pushing flowers up
Thru the forest floor
Opening patient buds
On the trees
Crying out-
Spring is here!
But not today
Today, the mountain sleeps
And I watch
Grateful
For its presence

Pinnacle Mountain State Park

On recent visits to my parents, one-stop has become routine on my way out of town. A perfect spot for a photograph of Pinnacle Mountain. Each time shows a different aspect of the current season. And while I love the colors of Spring and Fall, the above Winter view was beautiful in its own right. It reminded me of our need for rest, renewal, and the approaching Spring.

Simply Sunday

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Hearing Again, Listening

Some stories we hear over and over. Ones from our childhood, our family’s history. It is easy to hear without listening. But when we really listen, we often learn something new. View that familiar story in a new light.

Yesterday, I heard a story I’ve heard before. But somehow, this time was different. This time, I saw the parents, my parents.

I was two years old. We lived next door to my grandparents in the country. (My parents still live in the same house.) Mom had done office work but was not working at this time. Dad worked as a carpenter.

One morning, I woke up covered in red whelps. Quite upsetting for young parents. They loaded me in the car, and we headed to see the doctor.

I had an allergic reaction, most likely a food allergy.

Grandpa and Grandma had a milk cow. And I had been drinking fresh, raw milk. Apparently, something in the cow’s feed did not sit well with me.

The prescription was simple. Go to the grocery store. Buy ham and applesauce. Only feed her those two things for an entire week.

Here’s the catch. Mom and Dad only had eleven or twelve dollars to their name.

They went to the grocery store. Bought ham and applesauce. And all three of us had the exact same menu for the following week.

Mom always laughs when telling this story. It is not viewed as a negative story. It is a doing what you must story. But this time, I heard it as a sacrifice story.

My parents did not ask anyone for help. They did not complain about eating ham and applesauce for a week. They did what was needed to take care of me, thankful for a solution.

I can picture them as I’ve seen in photos. Young, first-time parents. Nervous and concerned. Loving their little girl. That little girl just happened to be me.