Felt like a stranger
Looking in
A window
Confused by
The actions
Witnessed
Tones detected
Perceiving
A cycle
Of frustration
Embarrassment
Tears and
Exhaustion
Asking questions
Inside my head
What is wrong?
Why so upset?
Felt like a stranger
Looking in
A window
But I was not
A stranger
And I was not
Looking in
A window
It was a mirror
My reflection
In the panes-
A realization
That left me
Wondering
Whether to take
A step back
Or lean in closer
Admitting feelings of anxiety and depression is not always easy. And even harder to explain. This poem is an attempt to describe that feeling of being outside myself. Knowing my actions and feelings don’t make sense, but having difficulty controlling them.
I share because someone reading may need to know they are not alone. And simply put, it helps me accept my reflection with a bit more grace and understanding. ❤️
Piano Girl 
And always find someone to help you. We were not meant to be alone on such an important part of our human experience as this feeling of separation creates. From someone who has suffered for years with both anxiety and depression. My depression is now a constant bittersweet companion. Take care of you. ❤️🙏🏻
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Thank you, Carrie. ❤️ Your honesty is comforting. I’m working on that seeking help part.
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Kelley,
You are not alone. I am right there with you. I am glad to see your writing about this and I applaud your courage in sharing it. What does your heart need? Anchor yourself in love.
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Thank you. ❤️
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And that is the power of writing, in any form, for both the writer and the reader. Even with all the awareness of mental health, it is hard to admit. It’s hard to deal with, hard to tell people how we are truly feeling, for too many reasons. And some of the reasons are deeply complex. Like the use of reflection / window in the poem.
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Thanks so much. 😌
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You’ve captured this phenomena with the window/mirror metaphors … I think I’d be better off if I had a 10-minute face-to-face with myself daily … doing nothing BUT recognizing. Maybe I’ll get a mirror to prop up while journaling … glancing between mirror and page. Thanks for this nudge to pay closer attention.
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Thank you, Jazz. 💛
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