A Tiny Light

So small
Yet, captivating
Iโ€™m unable to
Look away-
Uncertainty
Arrives first
But does not
Settle in
Curiosity soon
Takes its place
I continue to watch
Not knowing is ok
Maybe even better
Allows more space
For my thoughts
To wander
As I watch this
Tiny being of light
A bright spark of life
Knowing it will
Pass from my sight
And I will have to wait
Until it returns
Once again
Drawing my eyes
As my heart follows
Close behind

I continue to love the writing circle. You never know what is going to show up on the page. Sometimes, I do not know where the words come from or what they mean. Then I read them out loud to caring, intentional listeners and take in their reflections.

The above poem was written in our most recent circle with Ali Grimshaw. https://flashlightbatteries.blog/ Inspired by a line from the poem A Note by Wislawa Szymborska.

To follow a spark on the wind with your eyes.

What do you think I was writing about? ๐Ÿ˜‰

Today’s Answers


What is wrong with me?
 It took a couple of hours to solve the mystery. Though solving did not mean feelings subsided. The emotional range of my morning hit hard and fast. 

Why am I surprised? Sunday is our sonโ€™s first Fatherโ€™s Day! It is also the first Fatherโ€™s Day without Dad. So much joy and sadness co-exist. But I know Iโ€™m not alone. 

How are you today? My friend Darryl stopped by today. His home is on the streets. He appeared to be having a particularly rough day. Yet, he made a point to ask how I was doing.

Should I answer honestly? His dad also recently died. He didnโ€™t know for several weeks. So many regrets. Told him I was struggling and mentioned that Sunday was Fatherโ€™s Day.  

Sunday is Fatherโ€™s Day? A first for us both. Reminded him that we have to keep going. It is ok to be sad, but we canโ€™t stay there.  

What is wrong with me? I miss my dad. I miss my father-in-law. But I also celebrate my son. And I celebrate my husband-all great dads!

What are the answers for today? There is strength in honesty. Sorrow shared is easier to carry. And joy shared multiplies. โค๏ธ

Mending Layers

Wounds left behind
By traumaโ€™s
Repeated strikes
Scar deep
The pain pulsing
Long after
The bruises
Disappear-
Difficult to
Comprehend
Particularly when
Exacted on the weak
And Innocent-
Layers of insecurity
Lead to repeated
Questions that
Often require
Deciphering
Repeated
Questions
Requiring
Repeated
Answers-
All the above
Requiring
Patience-

Uncomfortable
Necessary work
Sewing stitches
In hopes of mending

Child abuse is not pleasant to think about or talk about. But unpleasant conversations are necessary for positive change. Acknowledgment and patience are the beginning steps.

A recent visit with a sweet friend brought this ugly truth clearly into view. But there is hope. Even if it comes in small doses. Even if face-to-face caring tests my patience more than I wish to admit…

I remain in awe of the counselors, therapists, case workers, etc who sew these stitches every day.

A Single Sliver

Which holds more power?

A solitary word
Simple phrase
Image viewed
Likeness stored

Each one can
Wash over me
In a single sliver
Leaving its imprint

A curious question
Lingering ache
Quiet smile
Hopeful sigh

Perhaps the power
Does not lie
With the singular
But instead
In the progression

One word leads
To a memory
One phrase, and
A new image emerges

Tears flowing
Stories shared
Prayers spoken
Hearts healed

Family Trees

We closely watched
As our children grew
Each part of us
Each their own
A continuation
Of family trees
With roots and branches
You and I will never know-
Weโ€™ve heard stories of
Transplanted roots
Broken branches
Colorful leaves
Weโ€™ve watched
More than once
As one season ended
And a new one began
Love and joy seeded
Along with pain
And heartache-
Seems strange
Speaking of them
In the same breath
Yet, here they are
Wise falling leaf
Innocent Spring bud
Quietly encouraging me
To embrace this current season-

Do not look too far ahead.
Do not look too far behind.
Do not hang on so tight,
That you miss
The peaceful wind
Blowing thru your hair
.

Butterflies and Babies

Sweetly swaddled
Snuggled in tight
Outside noises
Muffled
To protect
Tiny ears
Eyes remain
Sheltered
From the
Bright sun
Not yet ready
To greet this world
Until suddenly
Both protected
And protector
Are thrown into
A realm full of
New sounds
New feelings
New sensations
Why should we
Expect anything
Less than tears
And awe
And wonder

Once again, I am thinking about this life and its comparisons with butterflies. We often focus on the result. A beautiful new life in living color, floating thru the air. But we immediately forget the struggle required to get there.

Exactly one week ago, we met our sweet granddaughter. It was about an hour after she was born. Her feelings concerning the previous few hours were clear. Her cry was strong and sweet, heartbreaking and reassuring.

A couple hours later, the grandparents were ready to hold her. She was swaddled tight and sleeping. The only problem occurred when it was someone elseโ€™s turn. She would start crying every time there was a shift.

How dare you hand me over to someone else! I was comfy and just beginning to like you!

I had not given prolonged thought to the shock mamas and babies experience. And then I saw it from Gigi’s point of view-not dwelling, simply acknowledging. ๐Ÿ’—

Priceless Perspective

Coming and going
Moving from one
Instant to the next
While stopping to
Revisit the past-
Those pauses
Graciously offering
A new perspective
For a new season-

A young mom
Grateful for time
With her mom

A grandmother
Knowing itโ€™s time
For her to go home

Remembering
What it was like
To be the first

Learning
What it is like
To be the later

Imagining
How my mom
Must have felt

Understanding
More clearly
The connections
Between mamas
And babies
And grandmas
And each moment
Spent together-
Priceless!

Simply Sunday

Simply hearing
You arrived safely
And every ounce
Of worry disappeared
Simply seeing
Your sweet face
And my heart
Filled to overflowing-
I am convinced
Our capacity
To love grows
Exponentially
With the birth
Of a child
And when that baby
Is a grandchild-
Well, I will keep
Searching for words
And let you know-
Itโ€™s going to be an adventure! ๐Ÿ’—

A happy Gigi!
A smitten Papa!
Rockstar parents!
Sweet Emilia! ๐Ÿ’—

Living

I used to find the idea of regularly visiting a cemetery puzzling. Not in a disrespectful way. My thought was-Well, I know they are not there.

Today, Mom sent me a photo of Dadโ€™s newly installed headstone. Iโ€™m beginning to understand the pull.

As I looked at the design, zooming in on details, I saw the story. Names and dates that represent what was and what continues. Birth, marriage, death-pieces of a beautiful puzzle. A puzzle to which I also belong.

I hope to visit soon. ๐Ÿ’™


Stories etched
In granite gray
Beginnings
And endings
Bordered by
And filled in
With love

And hope
A serene spot
Shaped for
The kind of
Remembering
That leads
To living

Childhood Whispers

As I walk into
The clearing
Time slowly rewinds
The rises and falls
In this small plot of
Gently rolling land
Are interrupted by
A quiet stream
And perfectly placed oaks
A perimeter of pines
Provides a freedom
Not easily found
In the outside world
Freedom taken for granted
Until life allows for
Both leaving
And returning-
As I walk down
That familiar road
Still shaded by trees
The whispers
Of many childhoods
Are carried on the breeze-
There you are!
We are so glad to see you again.
Wonโ€™t you come and play?

Waiting on the arrival of sweet Emilia has me reflecting on many things- my own childhood, the childhoods of our children, the continuing seasons of parenting, and now becoming a grandparent. I am looking forward to once again seeing life in a new light.

Ok, Emilia. We are all ready to meet you! ๐Ÿ’—