Hi, Dad
I could feel
Myself speaking
But the words
Were inaudible
A slight smile
At my hesitation
A glance toward
The ground
Then on to
The task at hand-
Placing new flowers
On your headstone
Peaceful purples
And deep greens
We miss you
A bright yellow
Butterfly also
Fluttered by
To say hello
Mom and I enjoyed a nice drive and a sunny day. Temps were cooler and there was a nice breeze. As Mom wisely said- I will never not miss him. But life continues and we must keep living.
Bright eyes
Focused
Little hands
Reaching
Tiny fingers
Learning to grasp
Such hard work
Heavy eyes
Fussy cries
Fighting sleep
Afraid of missing
A single minute
Held close
Rest comes
Giving in to
Sweet dreams-
I wonder
If she knows
She’s holding
My heart
As she sleeps
What a joy to have our family all together. We laughed, cried, and ate lots of good food. And, of course, our little granddaughter was the center of attention. I was thankful for the opportunity to hold her and get her to sleep. There is nothing like the sweet weight of a sleeping baby. Well, listening to her coo is pretty sweet, too.
Sitting in a rocker in front of Cracker Barrell in Alma, AR, I almost wrote 1993 instead of 2023 at the top of my journal page. This spot between Tulsa, OK, and Little Rock, AR, has been our family meeting place for years. I was waiting for my brother to drop off my mom this time.
Many a summer or spring break adventure started there. Sometimes, it was our kids going to spend a week with grandparents. Other times, it was me having some extended family time. And when you have as many cousins as me, extra time is needed.
So, what took me back to 1993? It was an eventful year for us! We were married in May, moved in July, and had a baby the following December. And that’s when it all started. Traveling the highway between Arkansas and Oklahoma, sometimes stopping in the middle for a drop-off or pick-up.
And this time, the end result was great-grandma meeting great-granddaughter for the first time. 💗
It seems like yesterday…
I was putting my
Hand in your face
When you tried to kiss me
Yet here we are
Thirty years of marriage later
It seems like yesterday…
We were bringing
Our first baby home
Not a clue what to do
Yet now he is married
With a baby of his own
It seems like yesterday…
I was chauffeuring
Three kids to school
Listening to them laugh
And now, sometimes
I get to be their passenger
I did not think it was possible
For time to pass any faster
But when I watch
My granddaughter sleep
See her sweet smile
I don’t want to blink
Perhaps if I
Thought of them
As belonging
To a waterfall
Freely rushing
Over the edge
Of a rock face
Skillfully smoothed
From the continuous
Flow of unexpected
Strength and sorrow
Knowing they will
Slow down
Once reaching
A quiet stream below-
Not losing purpose
But discovering
New resolve-
Perhaps if
I thought of them
As belonging
To a waterfall
I would let them fall
Free of fear
No concern for
Who might be
Standing at the lookout
Witnessing my life
In motion through
Each drop of rain
From the storms
Each spot of color
From the rainbows
Talking about anxiety and depression is not easy. When emotions feel out of balance, it is tempting to hide them. But putting on a happy face, though sometimes necessary, is not a permanent solution. Eventually, they will find a way out, often leading to embarrassment and exhaustion.
Well, at least that was my experience earlier this week. 😉
Thankful for friends and family who understand and keep me grounded. ❤️
It was an eventful week. My yearly physical suggested the need for cholesterol medicine. Then I was rear-ended Thursday on my way home from work.
Such is life, out of our control. Well, I can do some work on the cholesterol front. But that’s not the point. The point is hope remains.
A weekend visit meant all the chicks in the nest, along with the grandbaby chick. Girls went to a concert, boys to a movie. And Gigi hung out with Emi.
Listening as you
Find your voice
Watching as you
Learn to reach
Rocking as you
Fall asleep
Troubles
Of the day
Melt away
Five tiny fingers
Wrapped
Around my thumb
Eyelids heavy
With sleep
Let it fall
As I hold you
Little one
And dream
Your dreams
While I remember mine
My daughter, Rachel, wrote the following poem not long after my dad passed away. It paints a beautiful picture of the way we need and care for each other. I asked her if I could share. ❤️
Your mom needs you
Is a call to action
I do not take lightly
My Dad said this to me
After learning my mom had lost her own father
I held her tight in my arms
Breathing deep and slow
Like she had done for me
so many times before
Your mom needs us
My Dad said to her
As they prepared to leave
I imagine she held her mom tight in her arms
Breathing deep and slow
Like she had done for her
So many times before
How precious it is
To need your mom
And be needed by her
-Rachel Morris
The day we
Laid you to rest
The sun shone brightly
The wind blew
Stronger than
A breeze
And carried
A cold bite
Uneven, at best
Like my emotions
Visited again today
Knelt down
By the dirt
And smiled
Hi, Dad
The sun shone brightly
No breeze to cool the air
The sky was a beautiful blue
Somehow, felt balanced-
Surprisingly, so did I
Soft baby blanket
Tiny pink hat
Your sweet face
All that we
Could see
All that we
Needed to see
Eyes still closed
Your new cry
Broke my heart
Hi, Honey
Your dad
Held you close
My heart filled
To overflowing
My baby
Holding
His baby
What is wrong with me? It took a couple of hours to solve the mystery. Though solving did not mean feelings subsided. The emotional range of my morning hit hard and fast.
Why am I surprised? Sunday is our son’s first Father’s Day! It is also the first Father’s Day without Dad. So much joy and sadness co-exist. But I know I’m not alone.
How are you today? My friend Darryl stopped by today. His home is on the streets. He appeared to be having a particularly rough day. Yet, he made a point to ask how I was doing.
Should I answer honestly? His dad also recently died. He didn’t know for several weeks. So many regrets. Told him I was struggling and mentioned that Sunday was Father’s Day.
Sunday is Father’s Day? A first for us both. Reminded him that we have to keep going. It is ok to be sad, but we can’t stay there.
What is wrong with me? I miss my dad. I miss my father-in-law. But I also celebrate my son. And I celebrate my husband-all great dads!
What are the answers for today? There is strength in honesty. Sorrow shared is easier to carry. And joy shared multiplies. ❤️
Piano Girl 