Creative Spark

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My creative life used to be filled with musical collaborations. While working toward my bachelor’s degree in piano performance, I spent many hours accompanying voice lessons and ensembles.  Playing the piano was my life, but I increasingly began to enjoy working with other musicians.

Those experiences influenced my plans for grad school.  My master’s degree work consisted of constant collaboration with other musicians.  Preparation for recitals with vocalists, brass players, and string players filled my days and nights. Yes, it was challenging. Yes, it was exhausting. But oh was it rewarding!

In my professional life, I’ve also had those satisfying musical moments.  Working as a university staff accompanist, faculty recitals, choral accompanying, opera workshops, etc. continued to keep my creative juices flowing.

Although music continued to be part of my life,  I eventually stepped away from it as my main profession.  Don’t get me wrong, I have no regrets.  My life has been full.  I spent nine precious years as a stay-at-home mom, worked as a special education teacher, and currently, I’m an elementary music teacher.

It has been a long time, a hot minute, as they say these days since I’ve played professionally.  Today I suddenly realized that a part of me has missed it.

I’m in my final week as a rehearsal pianist for the Rose Rock Opera Institute.  It has been a great experience, working with talented young singers and amazing teachers.  One lesson today was extra special.  The music placed in front of me was familiar.  I had played it years before.  Beautiful melodies weaving between voice and piano.

But then I saw those spots.  You know the ones.  The ones that gave me trouble years earlier.  And that fear of making mistakes started to creep in.  Thankfully the teacher had given me and the student a specific spot in the music to place our focus.  We repeated one small, beautiful phrase about ten times before performing the entire piece one final time.  It was amazing.  We listened to each other’s parts, attempting perfect balance.

Was it exhausting? Yes! My brain was in high gear.  Thinking hard about the line, voicing, surprising harmonies-working together to bring a piece of music to life.  And just as this talented young student decided to take a chance, I did the same.  Focused on making music instead of worrying about the wrong notes.

Today a creative spark was reignited.  And for that, I am thankful.

Twenty-One Today

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Twenty-one today, how can that be?

Seems only yesterday, you were just three

Bossy at times, so sassy and sweet

A perfect description, your Dad would agree

 

Today all grown up-compassionate and strong

Advocating for special needs, desiring all to belong

Embracing the future, choosing hope in the world you see

A beautiful young woman standing in front of me

 

Today I remember your blue eyes and curls

Treasuring sweet times with my sassy little girl

Remembering the past but not lingering too long

Learning from you what it means to be strong

 

Letting go while holding on is where I find myself

Cherishing the pictures which sit on my shelf

So thankful I’m your mom and you’re my sweet girl

Happy Birthday, Dear Rachel!  Today is all yours!

 

 

One-Way Streets

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Have you ever driven down a one-way street, all lanes occupied-when suddenly a car is heading directly toward you-obviously going the wrong direction?  This happened to me today.

I was going the right direction.  Other cars on the  road were also going the right way. The wrong way driver didn’t appear to be slowing, so swift action was needed.  Even though the other drivers continued moving ahead, I slowed down and began to honk my horn.

Thankfully this got their attention. The wandering driver swerved across the lanes of traffic and into a parking lot.  A little shaken, but safe, I continued to my destination.  Part of me wanted to make sure the confused driver was ok, but turning around was not possible.

The experience made me think-people are sometimes like the cars on the street today.  We move along this path of life full speed ahead, confident in our choices and direction.  Surrounded by fellow travelers, we encourage each other to remain on the right road.

But what happens when we meet a confused wanderer going the wrong way?  

We could do nothing, resulting in a clash.  Arguments over who was right would certainly ensue.  Neither party taking time to listen.  We might swerve and go around, leaving them in their state of confusion.  Or maybe we should slow down, stop, and meet the stranger right where they are-in the middle of the road.

Before answering the question, we must remember-at some point each of us is the wandering traveler, confused, and in need of guidance. Especially when going the wrong direction down a one-way street.

Yellow Roses

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Yellow roses are quite captivating.  Yellow is not my favorite color, but when it paints the petals of a rose, it causes me to remember sweet faces.  Memories of my Grandma Mahar and my father-n-law immediately come to mind.  They both loved growing roses, and yellow ones always seemed extra special.

Last week I saw yellow roses in a new way.  A beautiful cascade covered my Aunt Pearl’s casket, a single yellow rose placed carefully in her hands.  Their beauty, like a blanket of peace, provided comfort during a difficult time.  I would imagine Pearl’s love of roses came from her mother, my grandma.  And that she passed that love on to her children.

Flowers in this setting may seem insignificant to some, but I would disagree.  Anytime objects bring to mind images of those we love, they have value.  If we allow them to jog our memory, a cascade of yellow roses may turn into a flood of sweet faces.  Faces of those who loved us.  Faces we never want to forget.

Clouds

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Condensed drops of water

Floating high in the sky

Easily spotted from the ground

Yet more than meets the eye

Shade for a weary traveler

Relief for the dry, parched earth

Inspiration for an artist’s canvas

Imagery for the poet’s verse

Aesthetic or empirical

Which description would you choose?

Go outside and look up!

What have you got to lose?

 

 

Sisters

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Have you ever felt a sense of urgency to capture a specific moment in time?  On a recent trip to my parents I had that very experience. Part of the reason for my visit was to see my Aunt Pearl.  My mom has eight siblings, Pearl being her oldest sister.  She was in poor health and the prognosis was not good.

I found myself sitting around the kitchen table at Aunt Elizabeth’s house with all but one of my mom’s six sisters.  We were drinking coffee and chatting when the idea came…we should take a picture of all the sisters!  A text sent, and then a phone call-Aunt Sharon would be there soon.

Attempting a photo of seven sisters in their 60’s and 70’s presented quite a challenge.  Getting everyone to stop talking, just for a minute, look the same direction, and smile proved nearly impossible.  The resulting images provided evidence of personality differences you would expect with seven sisters-bossy, easygoing, funny, and calm to name a few. Not that I would attempt to place labels.  Unless, of course, my cousins were willing to help!

These women are strong, each in their own way.  Their presence as I was growing up provided a foundation I find difficult to express in words, yet it is part of who I am.

IMG_2380Seated from left to right:  Aunt Elizabeth, Aunt Pearl, Aunt Mary Standing from left to right:  Aunt Linda, Aunt Sharon, Aunt Martha, Geneva (My Mom)

During our attempt at a picture, there was finally a moment of calm, everyone focused, recording the memory of this day in one snapshot.  For that I am grateful.  Today, Wednesday, July 11, 2018, my Aunt Pearl passed away.  She would have turned 80 in October. The above photo was taken June 2, 2018.  We will miss her so very much.

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” Matthew 5:4

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.”  Hebrews 10:23

 

Photographs and Memories

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I love photographs. They represent moments in time, ranging from silly to significant. Possessing the power to take us back, these images flood our minds with a cascade of thoughts and memories.

That is true of this photo. Pictured are the three amazing individuals who call me mom.  As a surprise for my 50th birthday, they secretly learned my favorite James Taylor song, Like Everyone She Knows. The picture was taken right after their living room performance, a moment which begged to be captured.

My husband introduced me to the song when we were dating, over twenty-five years ago.  There was an immediate connection, and I continue to listen often.  The line “hold tight to your heart’s desire” always seems to be speaking directly to my soul.

Now I not only have memories connected to the song, I also have this precious photograph.  A reminder of my sweet kids and their thoughtful gift.

A perfect moment in time…

kids song

 

 

 

Beginnings

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Beginnings are important…

Precious as the birth of a baby

Lasting as the first “hello” of a new friend

Simple as the start of the day

 

Beginnings are difficult…

Uncertainty of a new job

Anger due to unexpected illness

Life after the death of a loved one

 

Beginnings are lasting…

Challenges that stretch and mold

Tears that cannot be contained

Lifetime of beautiful memories

 

Saying Goodbye

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We celebrate life from the very beginning-baby showers, birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, promotions.  These events bring happiness, reminding us of the beauty of life.  But how do we respond to death?  How do we prepare to say goodbye?

Although I’d experienced the death of family and friends in the past, I’d never witnessed the process of dying until the passing of my father-n-law.  Our family was given precious time to reminisce, create final memories, and say goodbye.  Sadness mingled with gratefulness as we each had the chance to say,  “Remember when…?  I love you.  We will be ok.  God is with you.”  While coping with the grief that followed, my mom reminded me of the following verse:

”God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  Therefore, we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells.”  Psalm 46:  1-4.

Today it is my mom’s turn to witness this process of dying.  She will soon be saying goodbye to her oldest sister.  In preparation there have been family gatherings filled with memories, laughter, and tears. Today my prayer is that mom, her siblings, and my cousins will fall further into that refuge and strength spoken of in Psalm 46.  Even though sadness and grief will surely come, my hope is for peace found in having had the precious privilege of saying goodbye.

 

The Spotlight

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Prior to teaching elementary music, I was a special education teacher.  Because of that experience,  preparing my students for our school’s Special Olympics assembly held an important place in my heart.  The entire student body would be singing a song celebrating our Olympians, and I wanted to make sure they understood the significance.  This was an opportunity for them to shine a spotlight on their amazing peers, peers who were often left out.  We discussed how each of us was special and had something to offer no matter our differences. During one discussion a hand went up, “You mean, we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover!”  Yes!  As the conversation continued, I was suddenly overwhelmed by a memory of doing just that when I was teaching special education.  I proceeded to share the following story:

One day a new student came to my class.  He was non-verbal, had vision and hearing impairments, severe balance and mobility issues, and only had one arm.  The first time I saw him, I cried.  How could I possibly reach this child? Certainly I was not experienced enough.  I felt helpless. And then one day a college student volunteer was playing with my other students on the playground.  As we lined up to come inside, He began carefully lifting each child so they could touch the ceiling.  Each waited their turn, laughing as they were raised high up in the air.  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my new little friend hobbling toward the college student.  He stopped in front of our visitor, and stretched his one little arm up as high as he could reach as if to say, “My turn, my turn!”  Squeals of pure joy came as he had his turn to touch that otherwise unreachable goal.  In that moment, this precious child was in the spotlight. 

As I finished my story, the realization that I had judged this sweet little book by his cover brought unstoppable tears.  My voice cracked as I finished sharing with my students, and I watched their expressions change from curiosity and confusion to understanding and compassion.  My unplanned confession brought new clarity and purpose for our assembly song preparation.  But more importantly it encouraged those familiar with being in the spotlight to look for opportunities to shine the spotlight on those not so familiar.