Time

Hanging on to its coattails as it flies by… faster with each passing day.

 

Time passes quickly

Years like months

Months like days

Days like minutes

Not logical

Yet true

 

Holding on tight

Wishing years would slow

Months would stretch

Days would linger

With no result

Passing more quickly

 

I must respond

Dream changes each year

Plan work each month

Find good each day

Hope for the future

Embrace this moment

 

“Secret ‘O Life” James Taylor

I am a Teacher

Today was professional development.  So much information.  Don’t misunderstand, the issues presented, though challenging, were extremely important and relevant.  There were also moments of encouragement, celebrating what we are already doing successfully.  All in all, it was a productive work day and I enjoyed being with teacher friends.

So why did I have an emotional meltdown on my drive home?

Because even though it is necessary to focus on the hard things, that doesn’t mean it is easy. Topics such as kids facing trauma cast a shadow over the things we want our students to accomplish, the areas we would rather give our energy.  Yes, it is our responsibility as teachers to think about these things.  But unless we honestly share our thoughts, we run the risk of feeling defeated and overwhelmed.

Teacher friends-prop up your feet, take some time to relax.  Tomorrow is a new day and we will be ok.

 

ABC’s and 123’s

Stories, songs, rhymes

Learning to read and write

Learning to add and subtract

What I enjoy

 

Engage and interact

Activities, games, projects

Encouraging imagination

Encouraging creativity

What I hope to convey

 

Teach and learn

Information, plans, revisions

Desiring to do my best

Desiring to be successful

What I want to achieve

 

Trauma and abuse

Conflicts, behaviors, struggles

Learning how to recognize

Learning how to help

What I cannot avoid

 

React and respond

Panic, tears, laughter

Realizing I am not alone

Realizing I am enough

What I must accept

Capturing the Moment

What happens when a special moment is captured only in our memory?  No witnesses or cameras present to record the details. Does that make it any less significant?  Social pressures to perfectly capture life events may unintentionally cause us not to be fully present in the experience, worrying more about the perception of others than our own happiness.

There is a big difference between living in the moment and living to make sure the moment is flawlessly planned and documented.  Personally, I love taking photos and reminiscing later while looking at said photos.  That is not a bad thing, but I am working to focus more on being fully present in my life circumstances. Realizing that even if I don’t get that perfect picture, the true beauty of the memory is stored in my heart forever.

My husband and I were recently discussing this notion, and he reminded me that the memory of when he proposed belongs only to us

 

Proposal

The ring was purchased

Permission asked and given

No plan in place

Waiting for the right moment

An evening drive~no big production

Castle in the park~no cameras~no witnesses

Two people

One kneeling and asking~One crying and accepting

Ready to take the next step

A forever commitment

Twenty-five years of marriage~the memory clear and sweet

Shared only by the two

Person First

Sometimes my brain plays tricks on me

And the person in my head

Doesn’t match the reflection I see

My life has great worth, though not all believe

Yet from the time I was born

My mom reassured me

I shout out “Hello!” from inside my brain

Even though you can’t hear it

I’m shouting it, just the same

Who do you see when you look my way?

Will you take time to know me

Or will you just look away?

Do you ever think about what others see?

When they look your way

Are you fretful or free?

No matter our differences, I hope you’ll agree

We are all persons first

Always remember…Oh, please!

Life’s Roles

Daughter first

Sister second

Years later wife

Mom times three

Cousin, niece, aunt

Friend and teacher between

 

Each role gives purpose

Brings responsibility

Delivers sorrow 

Causes growth

Provides joy

Creates life

 

 I look ahead

The future unseen

New roles yet to come

Hopeful to embrace each one

Through smiles, laughter, or tears

And continue down this path to becoming me

The Voice of an Old Friend

It amazes that a music composition from 1839, which I learned to play thirty years ago, has such a powerful influence over me today.  Arabeske Op. 18 by Robert Schumann was my absolute favorite college recital piece.  I’ve always found Schumann’s ability to beautifully weave a melodic theme throughout a piece captivating.  He presents the theme, expands it to represent a variety of emotions, and finally restates in a peaceful resolution.  This particular composition clearly follows that structure.

My second favorite Schumann composition is Frauen-Liebe und Leben (A Woman’s Love and Life.)  A song cycle based on a series of poems, each song represents a different phase of the love relationship from first meeting to wedding and finally ending in death.  This lovely depiction of life also follows the structure of beginning and ending with a recognizable theme. In the final song, the piano provides a beautiful postlude,  giving the listener a reminder of the true love represented by the recurring melodic theme.

My memories of playing these two pieces are crystal clear, relating to specific events in my life.

Picture a young, twenty-one-year-old college student, senior year.  The two years previous marked by a difficult, controlling relationship.  An unwise decision to marry this person had ended in divorce after a year and a half.  Now I was attempting to get my life back on track, finish college, and figure out what was next.  Many evenings were spent in a tiny practice room.  And often when I practiced Schumann’s Arabeske,  the tears would flow uncontrollably.

Fast forward nine years-happily married with three young children.  Looking for a job, preferably in the music field.  Directed by a previous employer, I applied for a staff accompanist opening at the Univerisity of Tulsa.  The interview process involved playing a prepared piece and sight reading.  I chose to play the Schumann Frauen-Liebe und Leben since it related to the position, and because it had been one of my favorite recital pieces from graduate school.  There I sat, all alone on that stage, desperately wanting this job.  I played the Schumann with clarity and emotion, sight read confidently and got the position.

So what directed my thoughts to these pieces on this day?  Today was exhausting.  It was the third full day of a brand new school year.  Following a full day of teaching elementary music with the grand finale of car duty, I trudged back to my classroom.  Walking in, I immediately noticed the music sitting on the piano in the corner-Arabeske.  It was like an old friend calling me to the bench.

The simple act of playing the piano always calms my brain.  I’ve experienced this truth many times, so why don’t I take the time to do it more often?  I’m not sure-but today I had no choice.  Sitting down at the piano, I began to play this old familiar piece.  Reaching the last page, playing that final melodic theme, listening to it fade away…I let out a big sigh of relief.  Still tired, but now relaxed and much calmer, preparing my thoughts for the next day didn’t feel so overwhelming.

Will I do this every day?  Probably not.  But hopefully, more often than I have in recent days.  Playing the piano has an undeniable positive influence on my state of mind, and days like today the music sounds like the voice of an old friend…

 

 

 

First Day of School

Alarm goes off–the moon is still awake

Coffee?  Yes, please!

Today a new school year begins

Morning greetings–nervous smiles

Faces–old and new

Parents–grandparents–siblings

Hugs–goodbyes–tears

Teachers–students–classes–routines

Lunch–recess–specials

First day of school–soooo loooong

Tired feet–happy heart–sleepyhead

See you tomorrow…

School year number ten

A Tree’s Tale

Lovely green accessories
My very own leaves
Identify my type
For all to perceive

Tower above creatures
Though exterior rough
Provide shaded protection
Surprisingly enough

Trunk filled with rings
Showing age with grace
Roots are established
Securing my space

Name may be Pine or Palm-                                                                                                   Mimosa, Aspen, or Oak
No matter–my witty narration
Fond memories and laughter evoke