Tag: life

Capturing the Moment

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What happens when a special moment is captured only in our memory?  No witnesses or cameras present to record the details. Does that make it any less significant?  Social pressures to perfectly capture life events may unintentionally cause us not to be fully present in the experience, worrying more about the perception of others than our own happiness.

There is a big difference between living in the moment and living to make sure the moment is flawlessly planned and documented.  Personally, I love taking photos and reminiscing later while looking at said photos.  That is not a bad thing, but I am working to focus more on being fully present in my life circumstances. Realizing that even if I don’t get that perfect picture, the true beauty of the memory is stored in my heart forever.

My husband and I were recently discussing this notion, and he reminded me that the memory of when he proposed belongs only to us…

 

Proposal

The ring was purchased

Permission asked and given

No plan in place

Waiting for the right moment

An evening drive~no big production

Castle in the park~no cameras~no witnesses

Two people

One kneeling and asking~One crying and accepting

Ready to take the next step

A forever commitment

Twenty-five years of marriage~the memory clear and sweet

Shared only by the two

Pictures in the Clouds

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This week I rediscovered the children’s book “It Looked Like Spilt Milk” by Charles G. Shaw.  I love this book!  If you’ve never read it, go look it up.  The author creatively takes his readers through a series of images in white on a dark blue background.  Childlike pictures are paired with simple, repetitive words, creating a beautiful backdrop for the imagination.

After reading this story to my students, I asked if they’d ever noticed pictures in the clouds.  Most excitedly raised their hands, eager to share.  We discussed the importance of using our imaginations, and I shared about finding pictures in the clouds when I was a kid.  Funny how that has become more difficult to do as an adult.

Creatively using our imaginations as a grownup often requires more intention than when we were kids.  Our adult minds are on information overload, concerned with family and job responsibilities.  Being imaginative gets put on the back burner, seen as a luxury instead of a necessity.  I wonder what would happen if that changed?  At the least, our stress levels would go down.

At the end of class I challenged my students to notice the clouds next time they go outside and report back to me what they see. Hopefully some of them remember.  Truthfully, I’m the one who needs to be challenged. Maybe my students responses will inspire me to take the time to go outside and look up.

The pictures in the clouds are always there, just waiting for us to imagine them. What do you see?

A Letter to Moms

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Dear Mom Friends,

Oh, how we need each other!  This motherhood business is tough.  From the moment we first meet our little ones, everything changes!  New responsibilities and emotions-not to mention hormones.  There’s almost a crisis of identity as we discover our new “normal.”  And just about the time we’ve figured out who we are again, those precious little ones are all grown up.  Which brings us right back to that identity crisis problem-not to mention the return of the hormones.

The beautiful part is no matter which end of this spectrum we currently find ourselves, there is someone we can help.  We moms with many years of experience are able to provide reassurance and encouragement to younger moms.  And you young ones…we “older” moms need you equally as much!  As you confide in us, we feel needed.  You remind us that our experience holds value.

We are in this mom thing together-the beautiful, difficult, happy, sad, funny, frustrating, silly-and that only describes one day in any given week!   Or possibly only one hour, depending on the day.  So don’t be discouraged.  You are beautiful and you’re doing a great job!

Now–go take a nap!  Or go to bed!  Whichever currently applies…

Sincerely,

Your Mom Friend Kelley

Sunsets~Reflections~Perspectives

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So much is happening during a sunset. Colors mixing, clouds moving, the earth spinning.  We see the amazing results, but not each individual change as it happens.  Red and yellow turning to orange-Blue and red turning to pinkish purple-all while signaling the end of another day.

Each day the sunset is different. So many variables-types of clouds, wind direction, viewing location, etc. The two things that never change-it is beautiful, and it is fleeting. I always wish it would last longer, change more slowly.  Instead it reminds me of how fast time is passing.

Recently watching a sunset from the nineteenth floor of a high rise, I could almost feel time moving forward.  Those last few moments, right before the sun fades beneath the horizon, there was a split-second sense of how fast this Earth is spinning.  And though the sky still glowed an orange hue, the sunset was over.

From this same location, I noticed the sunset’s reflection in an office building across the way.  That brought a new perspective.  As pretty as the reflection was, it couldn’t compare to the actual sunset.  All of the intricate colors were not visible, nor did the reflection show all the changes that were happening.  The picture it provided, though pretty, was not complete.

How does this compare to my own reflection?  My only guide for checking my appearnce, yet I am so much more than that sometimes blurry image. And many things have the power to affect the way I view that person in the mirror.  Lack of sleep, difficult day, feeling low-all impact how I see myself on any given day.

The next time I feel unsure when looking in the mirror, thinking the image is in some way lacking, I plan to remember that sunset.  I must acknowledge that who I am is complicated, full of thoughts and ideas, changing all the time.   And just like the sunset, I am so much more than my reflection.

Turbulence

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During my young adult years, the thought of flying brought an almost paralyzing fear.  In my head I knew it was not logical.  After all, people flew all over the world every day.  Yet there it stood like a brick wall, ready to block my path to future travels and adventures.

The one thing I truly hated about flying-turbulence.  Even when the pilot would say, “Excuse me folks, please keep your seatbelts fastened, we are expecting some turbulence up ahead,” it still felt unexpected to me when it happened.  This sudden occurrence would bring anxious thoughts and a nervous knot in the pit of my stomach.

Deep inside I knew the positives of flying far outweighed this one negative.  Reaching a faraway destination quickly, viewing the clouds from above, seeing the sunrise as you’re landing-amazing perspectives almost impossible to experience except when flying.

As I’ve gotten older and flown more often, my fears have begun to fade.  Oh, I still get that knot in the pit of my stomach when those unstable winds hit, but it passes much more quickly these days.  I’m also glad to say I am now able to survive take-off and landing without tightly closing my eyes and taking a multitude of deep breaths…progress, right?

Flying out of Tulsa this morning I once again experienced this unsettling phenomenon. I began to think about how it compares to life.  As each of us travels our own path, we will without a doubt encounter turbulent times-those events which shake us, challenge us, frighten us, and cause us grief.  A move, job change, loss of a family member or friend.  The list goes on and on…and it is unavoidable.

Those thoughts left me with questions. How do I respond during those stormy times?  Do I become paralyzed with fear?  Have my responses changed with experience and maturity?  As to the last question-maybe-I hope so.  But truthfully, the answer to all those questions depends on the severity of the storm.

As I continue on my journey with hope for reaching my destination, I must learn to live with both the turbulent as well as the smooth parts of the flight.  Yes, oftentimes the journey will be difficult, but it will also be beautiful.  Either way, I must keep flying and believe that it will all be worth it in the end.

 

“Casting the whole of your cares (all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all) on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.”   I Peter 5:7

“For this God is our God for ever and ever;  he will be our guide even to the end.”     Psalm 48:14

Something to Say

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The following essay was written for a Writing Contest hosted by Positive Writer entitled You are Enough.

http://positivewriter.com/writing-contest-you-are-enough/

I believe each one of us has something important to say.  Valuable ideas, opinions, and questions are always hovering at the forefront of our minds. The decision to keep these thoughts inside our head, say them out loud, or write them down is personal. But once we decide to engage in this process of writing, the freedom experienced far outweighs any prior apprehensions.

Whether typed on a personal tech device or handwritten in a journal, the simple act of writing words down gives them life. Suddenly we see them in a different light. Simple ideas once floating around in our head instantly become concrete-combinations of letters in black and white ready to be read over and over, edited and expanded.

Once words are given life, we have another choice to make. Will our words remain private or will we find an appropriate platform for sharing?  Some may remain unread until we are no longer living, leaving behind insights intended only for those closest to us.  Others we may choose to display freely for anyone to read.

My family recently received a wonderful gift of words. After the passing of my Aunt Pearl, numerous precious pages written in her own handwriting were discovered by her children. Did she consider herself a writer? No-yet her words, beautifully describing her life, her hopes and her dreams, provided comfort during a time of grief.

Certain words, however, need to be shared in the present. Not only for the writer’s benefit but also the unexpected help they may provide others. A strong likelihood exists that other people are coping with the same life challenges and fears, yet have not found the courage to give their thoughts life.  Your words may provide the encouragement they need.

I was extremely nervous about sharing my personal story concerning depression in written form.  Typing those confessions gave them a new sense of reality.  Once I took the next step and clicked the publish button, a flood of positive responses arrived. Others suddenly felt free to tell their personal stories, and their powerful words provided the realization that I was not alone in my struggles.

What happens when we choose courage and allow our words to make a positive contribution to this world?  We won’t know until we write. Don’t be afraid!  Your thoughts have great value. And once put into words, they help tell your story-the specific set of life experiences belonging only to you. No one else is exactly like you, and someone out there needs to hear your words, your insights, your story! Get busy writing!

Something important needs to be said which only you can say!

A Single Snapshot

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I continue to be amazed how one photo has the power to bring such a flood of emotions.  Just when I think my heart is ok, one picture of my sweet friend Marie-and I’m crying.  See earlier blog post:   Face to Face with Child Abuse: Personal Reflections of a Teacher

A sweet teacher friend recognized Marie in an online adoption video and shared the link.  I had to watch it, of course.  Hearing how the social worker described her-listening as Marie answered questions about her favorite things-all I could think was, “I know the answer!”  Like an impatient student raising their hand, shouting, “Pick me! Pick me! Oh, and here’s some additional info you didn’t even ask for.”

I was struck by the social workers comment, “She deserves a family.”  I completely agree.  She’s not the only one.  While looking at this link, I saw pages and pages of other children-all with a story-all without a family.  And then my questions started all over again.  How does this happen?  Why does this happen so often?  What do we do to help?

My initial reaction was to shout inside my head, “I don’t have any answers!”  But when I took a step back and calmed my emotions, the following things came into focus:

  • Amazing people who have chosen to be foster parents.
  • Others who have adopted or are considering adoption.
  • People like myself-looking for ways to be an advocate and friend.

No, these positives won’t wipe away all the heartache.  They are however, small steps in the right direction.  When a child who has been neglected, abused, and deserted is able to experience love, acceptance, and security-the healing process begins.  I continue to witness this in my sweet friend.

There is still so much to do.  I don’t want to become complacent in searching for ways to advocate for my friend.  It’s also important for me to recognize the children right in front of me everyday who are facing the same kind of sadness and heartache.  Yes, it feels like an impossible, daunting task.  Today I was reminded of my role and responsibility-and for that reminder I’m thankful.

I was also reminded of the impact this one child has had on my heart.  No amount of my tears can cover the suffering she has endured, but seeing her smile gives me hope.

“And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.”  Galatians 6:9

 

As We Go

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This past Friday was a rainy, inside recess kind of day.  My last class of the day is 2nd grade.  So I made a last minute change of plans and decided to teach them a game, Instrument Bingo.  Fairly certain they would at least be familiar with the concept of Bingo, I began to explain this particular version.

Bingo cards are made up of musical instrument pictures, each one also identified by written names.  Many types of instruments, representing all parts of the world, are shown on the cards.  Students listen to recordings of the instruments being played and a voice also tells them the name.  It’s a win, win kinda game.

I wanted this to be a fun learning activity-reminding them I did not expect them to already know all these instruments, and we would be learning them as we played the game. One sweet girl raised her hand, “You mean, we will all learn together as we go.”  Yes!  That is exactly what we will be doing!

That one statement from an innocent 2nd grader holds much wisdom.  As I wrote it down on my “positives” list, I began to think about all the ways it applies to life. Being a spouse, parent, and teacher are perfect examples.  Often our focus is on the big event-a wedding, birth of a baby, college graduation, our first teaching job-culminating in our suddenly taking on those identities.

Yes, those events are important and grant us that particular role or position in name, but time and experience are required for actual transformation.  And that’s what true learning is-transformation.  I need to remember this when feeling frustrated or disappointed with myself concerning my life responsibilities.

My goal should be learning from my own mistakes as well as from others who have more experience.  Followed by a willingness to share what I learn with those who may have just begun their journey down a similar path.  Always making sure to remember-we are all just learning together as we go.

 

As I Go

I am not the same wife I was

On my wedding day

I am not the same mom I was

On my first child’s birth day

So many people, places, events

Influenced who I am today

So many words, prayers, tears

Helped to light my way

 

As I continue walking along

This path we know as life

Will my desires be persistent

To become a better mom and wife

Should I choose to recognize

I am not alone in my strife

Transformation through lessons learned

Will prove worthy of sacrifice