Paradigm Shift

There’s nothing quite so humbling as a drug test. I understand the necessity. And the one I took this week was not my first rodeo. This time, I just paid more attention to the details.

Leave your purse here.
Use that hand sanitizer.
Fill this cup to the 2-line.
You have four minutes.
Do not flush the toilet.

No difficulty following the directions. But then I discovered the sink was disabled…I couldn’t wash my hands. Walking out the door, I immediately reached for that original hand sanitizer.

You can wash your hands in the sink over there if you’d like.

Yes, I’d like. Do some people choose not to wash their hands? Decided not to dwell on that.

Leaving the testing facility, I realized everyone was being tested for a different reason. Some, like me, for a new job. Others, for not-so-fun reasons. Each had their own story. One worth telling, even if they hadn’t realized it yet.

The same day, I began listening to this week’s episode of This American Life, The Call. The subject was an unusual hotline set up for drug users. What are the odds? This is not your typical hotline. The purpose is to encourage people not to do drugs alone. Talk about a paradigm shift.

This story allowed personal looks through different lenses. The operator, the caller preparing to use drugs, and the paramedic. The point wasn’t to change the person using drugs. It was to keep them from using, and possibly dying, alone. To give them another day of life.

Sometimes the endings were happy, sometimes not. But in each story, there was dignity instead of judgment. Caring instead of disregard.

I will never forget this conversation between mother and daughter.

Daughter-What do you want from me?
Mother-It would be good if you didn’t die today.

Here’s the link, if you’d like to listen. https://www.thisamericanlife.org/809/the-call

Don’t Forget!

It’s that time again, Mammogram day. Simply saying the word brings tension. Go on! Give it a try! You can expect a grimace or furrowed brow. Maybe even that sound of sucking air thru clenched teeth.

But that’s ok. It’s not a particularly pleasant thought or experience. It is, however, a life-saving exam that should be an available part of every woman’s healthcare.

And so I wait for someone to call my name and give instructions.

Here’s your cape.

It opens in the front.

Come out when you’re ready.

Are you wearing deodorant?

The one time its ok to smile and proudly say-No, I am not! 💗

Get your yearly mammogram!

All packed Up and Ready To Go

Laundry
The night
Before
Means
Packing
The night
Before
Means
Bedtime later
Than normal
Restless sleep
Like a child
Waiting for
Tomorrow
To arrive
Except
No longer
A child
And though
My heart
Will be ready
My body
Will be tired
Counting on
A little caffeine
A little music
A little conversation
To carry me safely
Down the road
From home
To home
And back again…

As I head to Arkansas to spend a week with my parents, I am thankful.

Thankful for my husband who says-Go! This is most important.

Thankful for my adult children who say-We understand! We will see you there!

And for extended family and friends who say-We will miss you! See you another time. Safe travels!

Merry Christmas!

Simply Sunday

Ok, well…maybe not so simple this Sunday. 😉 This Thanksgiving was not what I had planned or expected. It did, however, remind me of what is truly important. And it reminded me to be thankful for time with those I love, no matter the amount. So many reasons to be thankful. ❤️

Already in Motion

A child
Growing
In love
Protected
Encouraged
Carried when
Stretches of
Road turn
Curvy and steep
By those
Refusing
To give up

A parent
Fluctuating
Between
Carrying
And being
Carried
Discovering
A profound truth-
Once a child
Always a child
Once a parent
Always a parent

Each role
Evolving
As the years
Slip by
Until a choice
Becomes
Necessary-
Whether
To embrace
Or ignore
Shifts already
In motion

Although
Avoiding
May seem
Easier
Embracing
Offers
Promise-
A heart
Filled to
Overflowing
Even when
It is broken

Thanksgiving Anniversary

Every seven years or so, my parents’ anniversary falls on Thanksgiving Day. This is one of those years. Today marks fifty-seven years!

We had planned to celebrate together this year. Due to my dad’s recent hospitalization and health issues, those plans changed.

Although disappointed we are not together today, I remain thankful.

Thankful for time spent with my parents earlier this week.
Thankful for the example of their marriage.
Thankful for the encouragement and support from my husband, Gart.
Thankful for our three grown children and daughter-n-law.
Thankful for the family I grew up with and the one I married into.

Wishing you all a Happy Thanksgiving! ❤️🧡💛🤎

Tended Hearts

Tend to the one
Sitting near
Let them
Tend to you
Better, worse
Richer, poorer
Sickness, health
Isn’t that how the promise goes-
No longer
Left alone
With only
My thoughts
Fighting a fight
I will never win
Now together
Your heart
Close enough
That I can
Feel it beating
In time with mine
Better, worse
Richer, poorer
Sickness, health
Thankful
For each day
Our hearts
Are tended
By each other

Update on Dad. He is home from the hospital, feeling much better. With doctors’ guidance and mom’s help, learning to live with congestive heart failure. I plan to visit again soon. ❤️

Simply Sunday

Transformation

Look at you
Standing there
Confidently
Exposed
Pieces of your
Outer shell
Left shimmering
In the light
Gentle reminder
Of what was
Before
The release
Of all that
Was heavy
Smiling at
Passersby
No longer
Concerned
With hiding
What is
Underneath
Instead
Baring a gift
Story of
Transformation-
Beauty may
Only be
Skin deep
But love
And truth
Grace your roots

Driving to the hospital this morning, I couldn’t help noticing the trees. Colors are still beautiful, though beginning to fade.  A birch tree caught my eye.  Only a few of its yellow leaves remained.  As the leaves fluttered, I smiled. Look at you! 😊

My dad has been diagnosed with congestive heart failure.  I had heard this term but now have a better understanding.  It does not happen overnight. And though treatable, it does not go away. He is breathing easier and hence feeling better.  Doctors are working on a treatment plan which hopefully includes going home soon. 

Not having a definite timeline is frustrating.  But that is ok.  Life is precious.  And I continue to be thankful for our time together. ❤️

The Key

Room is quiet
Only a steady
Sound of air
Flowing from
A plastic tube
Occasional
Snore from Dad
Glass doors
Provide a window
To the hallway
Doctors walking past
Carts rolling by
With food, linens,
Cleaning supplies-
Right outside sits
The faithful one
Never far away
Caring for others
Keeping track of
Vital signs
Medication
Answering questions
Calming fears-
I know it is
A team effort
But I believe
Nurses hold the key

I wrote this poem while sitting with my Dad in ICU after his open-heart surgery. I was amazed by and thankful for the care he received, especially his nurses. ❤

Simply Sunday

Today I will be driving back home to Oklahoma from Arkansas. It is hard to say goodbye, but I am grateful for these past two weeks with my parents. I leave with a thankful heart. Thankful for doctors, nurses, family, and friends. Thankful my Dad will be going home from the hospital today. ❤

Love this tree near my parent’s house.

Cocooned

Life in limbo
For a brief time
No place to be
No place to wait
Only one person
Allowed at a time
With the patient

No mulling around
In the lobby
Outside
Seating
Available
Perfect!
Now if only
Wind and rain
Would cease-
These times call
For lots of love
Often demonstrated
By a waiting room
Filled with family
And friends helping
To pass the time
COVID changes things
But it cannot stop
The outpouring of
Love and support
Sent by caring hearts
Across the miles
From wrapping
Around our hearts
Spinning a soft
Place to be
A place to wait-
Cocooned in peace

Simply Powerful

Power is often
Found in the simple
Expressions of love
In very few words
Because those are
The only words
Necessary-
Praying for peace
Held in love
Thinking this morning
Filled with courage-
Words from the
Hearts of others
Allowing themselves
To be givers
Of the calm
Their kindness
Pulling away
Anxiousness
Lifting me up
Carrying me
Reminding me how much
I am loved and cared for
Leaving a smile
On my face
A melody
In my heart

These past few weeks have been challenging. An MRI led to a biopsy which led to surgery. Yesterday, I had an excisional biopsy. The surgery went well. I am having very little pain and will spend a few days resting. Once again, we are waiting for the results.

I was very anxious the few days leading up to surgery, until the day before and the morning-of when messages began to pop up on my phone. Each one lifted another piece of the struggle. Each one reminded me that someone else cared.

Yesterday morning, I was overwhelmed with feelings of peace and calm. As I thought about it this morning, I realized many contributed to those feelings. They are still present today. And I know they will carry me through the waiting. ❤