Seeking

There is no denying
It exists in every
Corner of our world
Brokenness
Most days, it lives
In my periphery
On the news
Down the street
Other days
It parks itself right
In the center of my heart-
The same is true of love
Whether noticed
Around the edges
Or in the center
Love holds the ability to grow
From the tiniest bits of joy-
The first chirp of the
Robin’s morning Hello!
The yellow-gold leaves
Of mountain Aspens in the Fall
The evening whisper of the wind
As it says Goodnight! to the pines –
Listening causes me to look
Seeing causes me to smile
Feeling causes me to
Open my window just a crack
So joy can find her way inside-
Do you hear the birds?
Do you see those trees?
Did you feel that breeze?

They may sound like
Unimportant things to ask
But what if those questions
Are the first notes in a
Song of hope for the one
Seeking a hand to hold

A few images from Rocky Mountain National Park today. 💛 Soaking in each little bit.

Packing and Unpacking

Started unpacking today
After twenty-plus years
Guess it’s about time-
Not that this suitcase
Was hidden
No, it has floated
In my periphery
Until a flashback
Would open the latch
Spilling its contents
In a jumbled mess
All over my heart-
A quick nod
Possible sharing
Then once again
Packed away-
Not this time
This time I am
Choosing to
Open the latch
Hold each piece close-
Fear
Anger
Gratitude
Release-

Acknowledging
Their impact
Before gently folding
Placing them in my
Chest of Memories
Not to be forgotten
But remembered
With clarity
Within the journey

Simply Sunday

Need to Know

That you are
Safe
Well-fed
Healthy
Claim
Your own
Identity
With
Confidence
Have friends
Are a friend
But most
Of all
That you are
Loved
Just the way
You are

Our friend, Marie, visited this weekend. It is always good to see her. She has a hold on my heart. Continues to grow and mature. And though some level of support may always be needed, she has come so far.

Next year she will turn eighteen, graduate from high school. Today even mentioned getting a job.

She has come so far…after going through so much. Things I wish could be erased-no, had never happened.

I am thankful she lives in a loving home. She will remain there even after her birthday. And while we may not be her family, we will continue to be her people.

Face to Face with Child Abuse: Personal Reflections of a Teacher

Miss You Tomorrow

Fading Away

I can never unsee
The look
In your eyes
Or the bruises
On your legs
I can never unhear
Your response
When I asked,
What happened?
Little hand in a fist
Tearful words…
Me mommy
How was that possible?
I did not understand
But never doubted
Your brave declaration
Forever seared
In my memory
Words to be
Recalled years later
During the trial
I will never forget
But knowing you
Are happy now
Seeing you smiling
Your bright smile
Helps bad memories
Begin to fade
I hope they are
Fading for you

I have not written about our friend, Marie, in a long time. Face to Face with Child Abuse: Personal Reflections of a Teacher But she is coming to visit this weekend! I am both nervous and excited. Recent pictures show how much she has grown and changed. And her smile-bigger than ever! Hoping to add to her list of happy memories. ❤

Gone Fishing

I have not thought about going fishing in a long time. As a child, I used to go all the time with my Dad. He still calls me his fishing buddy.

Today, all I could think about is the chance to go fishing again with my Dad.

He is currently in the hospital. A test this morning revealed an artery blockage and heart valve problem. So, he will be having open-heart surgery on Friday morning.

I am thankful for a job where I was able to just pick up and go. I needed to be with my parents. And when I called to tell Mom we were on our way, what do you think my Dad mentioned? Oh, yes-his fishing buddy.

I saw him this afternoon. He looks good. We talked about what was happening and how much better he will feel after recovery. And I told him, maybe this summer we would have to go fishing.

The Right Question

A recent story on the local morning news involved someone being shot at an apartment complex. There were not many details. One adult shot another adult. While listening to the report I kept thinking, “I wonder if there were any children present?”

Had I heard the same story any morning previous, my reaction might have been different. That is what happens when we view our surroundings through a different lens. Gain a new perspective.

Why did this story have this effect on me on this particular day? Because the day before I attended a professional development workshop for educators entitled “The Trauma-Informed Classroom.” Dr. Barbara Sorrels, author of the book “Reaching and Teaching Children Exposed to Trauma,” was our presenter.

One of the most powerful moments of the day was listening to an actual 911 recording. The voice we heard was a six-year-old little girl named Lisa. Lisa was witnessing a violent attack on her mom and siblings by her stepfather. And it was not the first.

It is difficult for me to imagine the awful things this little girl witnessed. The fear in her voice was almost palpable. Her cries for help were interchanged with moments of extreme clarity. She provided crucial information and displayed incredible bravery.

The screams of this little girl caused a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. Once the recording ended, the room remained silent. Dr. Sorrels then asked us to discuss how memories from this event might affect Lisa in the future. What images, smells, sounds, etc. might trigger negative responses from her?

All I could think was, “How can a child be expected to function at school after such a traumatic event?”

The workshop continued with stories of other trauma children, their caregivers, and teachers. We also explored ways to help promote healing.

By the end of the day, I felt emotionally and intellectually overwhelmed. How could I use this information to positively influence my classroom? How could it help me better connect with my students?

Dr. Sorrels encouraged us to start with one objective, helping one child at a time. And then another idea and another child, and so on. I reviewed my notes, and one thing stood out-a comparison of two questions. The questions represent two ways I might respond to a child’s behavior.

What is wrong with you?

What happened to you?

These questions have definitely been asked inside my teacher brain. And more often than not, I asked the first question. I should be asking the second.

So where do I begin?

  • Be mindful that a frustrating “behavior” might actually be a reaction to trauma.
  • Realize my perspective in approaching a child has the power to foster healing.
  • Be willing to ask the right question.