Tag: grief

How About You?

On By Piano girlLeave a comment 
Certain seasons 
Seem to turn
My World 
Upside Down-

When Red Clay
Soaks its dye
Into the roots
Of a Great Oak
Transforming its crown
From green to
A vibrant shade
Of burnt orange
Right before 
Leaf by leaf
The crown falls
To the ground
Afraid, yet willing
Sad, yet grateful 
For purpose fulfilled-

Certain seasons 
Seem to turn
My World 
Upside Down-


Driving across Oklahoma, the red clay dirt catches my attention. During Fall, it creates a beautiful foundation for the changing colors.

The changing seasons remind me of personal changes. New job, sweet granddaughter, the loss of my Dad. What changes have impacted your life this year?

A Possibility

On By Piano girlLeave a comment

Once we became
Acquainted
Hiding was futile
I could either attempt
To ignore you or
Make the best of it
And accept you
For who you are-
The initial shock
Of your rough exterior
Made me want
To runaway
Thankfully, I stayed
Not to say
We are friends
That would be a stretch
But the possibility exists
I sensed it while
Hugging you tight enough
To see into the
Center of your soul
Where sweet memories
Are kept, treasured
So as never
To be forgotten

Grief is not something to get over. Once we know it, it becomes part of us. However, our capacity to live with it grows over time. At least, that’s what I’m choosing to believe. Especially as we prepare to celebrate the approaching holidays. ❤️

Wrap Me Up

On By Piano girl4 Comments

One may
Cause me
To cry
Another
To laugh
Maybe both
At the same time
But I cannot
Travel
Back in time or
Remain endlessly
Engrossed
In a single
Snapshot
Even when it
Has the power
To wrap me up
In a cocoon
Turning my heart
Inside out
As it mixes
The broken
With the upheld
Before releasing

I am thankful my dad had time to get to know Erin, our sweet daughter-in-law. This picture always tugs at my heart. ❤️
Dad was so excited about Emi! I wish he could have met her.

Simply Sunday

On By Piano girlLeave a comment

This time
It snuck in
With a dream
One of those
Chaotic
Makes-no-sense
Dreams
Ending suddenly
In a moment
Of clarity-
A familiar photo
From the past
One I have seen
Many times-
And I woke up
Remembering
How much I miss you

After a great first week at my new job, I wasn’t expecting a visit from grief. But that’s how it goes. My capacity to hold this grief will continue to grow. That acceptance that death is part of life. It does not make me miss my dad any less. But it does allow me to both cry and smile over sweet memories. ❤️

A Sentence

On By Piano girl5 Comments

It is not an
Exaggeration to say
Some moments
It feels like
My heart
Might explode

Several chapters
Lived over time
Love, joy, grief
Converge at once
Holding hands
Across my story

One sweet sentence
From a paragraph
That I never
Want to forget
Though impossible
To clearly express

Lately, emotions seem to well up, catching me by surprise.

A sweet conversation with Mom. A moment of missing Dad. Crying on my husband’s shoulder. Chats with my adult children. Watching my son and daughter-in-law care for my granddaughter.

Both the enormity and the smallness of life collide. And I feel every single moment right in the center of my chest. ❤️

Simply Sunday

On By Piano girl13 Comments 
Hi, Dad
I could feel
Myself speaking
But the words
Were inaudible 
A slight smile
At my hesitation
A glance toward
The ground
Then on to
The task at hand-
Placing new flowers
On your headstone
Peaceful purples
And deep greens
We miss you
A bright yellow
Butterfly also
Fluttered by 
To say hello

Mom and I enjoyed a nice drive and a sunny day. Temps were cooler and there was a nice breeze. As Mom wisely said- I will never not miss him. But life continues and we must keep living.

The Center

On By Piano girl7 Comments

A long life
Well-lived
The center
Of attention
And rightly so
Possessing a beauty
Difficult to describe-
Like a grandmother
Whose arms were able
To reach out in
All directions
At the same time
You pulled us in
Shared your stories
And listened to ours-
You were taken
In an instant
No one will sit
In the wisdom
Of your shade again-
And my heart is broken

I am saddened by the news of wildfires in Maui, Hawaii. The one-hundred-fifty-year-old Banyan tree I sat under a few weeks ago is gone. Along with it, most of the town to which it was the center.

A quaint main street lined with local businesses and restaurants. The constant sound of ocean waves. People, nature, structures-a way of life-all taken in a terrifying instant. I couldn’t allow the day to end without expressing my love and heartache for this beautiful place.

Lahain Banyan Court Park-Destroyed by wildfires August 9, 2023.

Miles Away

On By Piano girl12 Comments

It could be the one-hundred-plus-excessive-heat-warning temperatures.

It could be because I’m missing Dad.

It’s most likely an all-of-the-above answer to any multiple-choice question you might ask.

Whatever the question or the answer, my thoughts keep drifting.

What would I give?
To rest in
The Wisdom
Of your shade
To sit beneath 
Limbs-curved
And crooked from
Over a century 
Of growing
Reaching 
Learning to be-
Witness to 
Stories unseen
Standing vigil
Thru seasons of
Darkness 
And light
Firmly holding
In your arms
All those seeking rest-
What would I give?
To rest in
The Wisdom
Of your shade-
Listening 
As the tide rolls in
Wondering 
If you can hear it, too
Lahaina Banyan Court Park-Maui, HI photo credit Gart Morris ❤️

Simply Sunday

On By Piano girl2 Comments

I continue to discover the ways of grief. Sometimes expected, often not. I continue to be grateful for the writing circle space created by Ali Grimshaw. https://flashlightbatteries.blog/ What a gift to get feelings down on paper and share them with loving souls.

The following poem came out of our recent circle. Maybe you can relate. ❤️

Ready to Listen

It seemed like
A good idea
Frantically
Searching
Through old
Voicemails
I thought
I was ready
To listen-
The sound
Of your voice
Even from a
Recording
Would surely
Bring peace
Instead, it was
An instant reminder
Of how much I miss you-
You have not been gone very long-
Grief made her
Presence known
In the song of
Falling tears
And together
We quietly sang
A sad, yet
Grateful
Melody

Guest Writer

On By Piano girl3 Comments

My daughter, Rachel, wrote the following poem not long after my dad passed away. It paints a beautiful picture of the way we need and care for each other. I asked her if I could share. ❤️

Circle of Grief

Your mom needs you
Is a call to action
I do not take lightly
My Dad said this to me
After learning my mom had lost her own father
I held her tight in my arms
Breathing deep and slow
Like she had done for me
so many times before
Your mom needs us
My Dad said to her
As they prepared to leave
I imagine she held her mom tight in her arms
Breathing deep and slow
Like she had done for her
So many times before
How precious it is
To need your mom
And be needed by her

-Rachel Morris