Letting Go

Why is letting go so hard?  I remember the day we dropped off our son Robert at college.  I cried the entire drive there and back.  Two years later it was Rachel’s turn.  She was staying a little closer to home, but it was still difficult to leave her in that tiny dorm room alone.  One more year and it will be Ryan’s turn, my 6’3 baby.  I’m trying not to think about that just yet.

Today brings a different kind of letting go.  Letting go of someone who was never mine, but who found a lasting place in my heart.  Today marks one year since my first visit to an Emergency Children’s Shelter.  I went to see a former student who had been removed from her home.  That visit quickly turned into one of many.  There were phone calls, we celebrated holidays, a birthday, enjoyed movies and shopping.  And even though I knew deep down our family was not the final answer for this child, the thought was always in the back of my mind.

Recently someone said to me, “What do you think your family could provide for this child that another  family could not?”  That stung, but it was exactly what I needed to hear.  Suddenly the words “letting go” began invading my thoughts.  And then it hit me-maybe our purpose had simply been to provide love and friendship during a year of uncertainty and confusion, and that was ok.

How appropriate that on this day, one year later, I receive word of a foster home placement.  Today some of my tears are selfish because I will miss her, but most are grateful-grateful for caring foster parents and a fresh start for our precious friend.  I hope to share more about this past year’s experiences in the future, but today tears must fall as I once again learn how to let go.

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens…”

Ecclesiastes 3:1

My Father-n-law

Today we celebrated Father’s Day.  I prepared the requested chicken enchiladas and yellow cake with chocolate frosting for lunch.  Our family, including my mother-n-law, spent the afternoon together, ending our day seeing The Incredibles ii.  Such a nice day!  But someone was missing, my father-n-law.  He passed away February 2, 2016 after a hard fought battle with cancer.  Many moments today I sensed we were all thinking the same thing-we miss Dad, Papa, Bob.  None of us said anything, but his memory was present.

We do talk about him often. How he liked to razz the grandchildren about their love interests.  My mother-n-law once called him the nosiest man alive! How he would do everything in his power to make sure we all had what we needed and wanted.  He was so very generous.  We  knew he loved us, no doubts!  Though our celebrations may now feel incomplete, they must continue.  They must be sprinkled with precious memories of this one who teased us, quizzed us, provided for us, and loved us so well.