Computer screen A dozen windows Energetic teacher Excited students Smile and wave Learning together Finding their way In this new normal Students engaged Sharing projects Listening intently A read-a-loud Started before Quarantine Now continued ...during In this new Familiar Yet, unfamiliar Space Older siblings Quietly sneak In the background Hoping to be seen Younger siblings Sit in laps Soaking up Extra attention And me? Grateful to witness The energy of A dedicated teacher Grateful to see Smiling faces Hear familiar voices To say, “I miss you.” Grateful to be A face in one Of those windows- A welcomed guest
Tag: family
Quarantine Dream
I had the strangest dream. The first dream I can remember from the last several weeks.
I was walking alone in our neighborhood. The sun was setting, it was beginning to get dark, but I did not turn around and head home. As I continued walking, I noticed a stranger approaching.
I remember feeling a little uneasy. What should I do? Turn around? Cross the street? But no, I kept walking. And soon, this stranger was right in front of my face.
We were soon having an in-depth conversation. I was sharing details of a personal, emotional story with this person I had never seen. It struck me as odd to be sharing this story with a complete stranger.
One other thing struck me as strange. This person seemed to have no sense of personal space. He was listening intently, but his face was only a few inches away from mine. A little uncomfortable, to say the least. Yet, I continued talking.
I had to laugh as I gave this dream some thought. The idea of reunions has been on my mind. I picture a day when I will go back to school, meet a friend for coffee, visit family. In each scenario, those involved physically knock one another over as we reconnect with hugs, laughter, and tears.
If I spend too much time on that picture, sadness creeps in. Right now, we don’t know when that will happen. But our plans remain aimed at that day somewhere in the future. And as we plan, we hope.
Until then, my quarantine dream reminds me of the importance of connections. Get ready friends, I am looking forward to some “knockdown” hugs. And though I also hope for new connections in the future, I’d prefer ones that are a little less creepy. 😉
Unknowns
Our current circumstances are filled with many unknowns.
There is a new virus spreading quickly. How long will it spread? I don’t know.
As a teacher, I will be planning for distance learning. What exactly will that look like? I don’t know.
I must stay at home. When will I be able to hug my extended family and friends again? I don’t know.
Upcoming travel plans have been canceled. When will they be rescheduled? I don’t know.
I don’t know about you, but I am getting tired of that phrase. 😉
I may be oversimplifying, but somehow admitting that I don’t know helps a little. It forces me to take a step back and breathe. To realize these circumstances are new to all of us.
Earlier today, I found myself feeling frustrated over some of these unknowns. The voice inside my head kept saying, “Just breathe.” Then I remembered an exercise I often have students do when it is time to regroup and focus.
- Breathe in through your nose. 1, 2, 3, 4.
- Breathe out through your mouth. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
- Repeat as often as needed.
I just did the exercise twice. Yes, I know it is simple. But right now, simplicity is what we need. At least, it is what I need.
So, what else is on my simple list? Coffee, music, texts, and phone calls are near the top. Zoom and FaceTime are also on the list. But grace and love are at the very top.
As I breathe out my frustrations, I breathe in the need to show grace. And showing grace is an expression of love. And I don’t know about you-sorry, there it is again-I need all the love and grace I can get right now. Especially during this time of unknowns.
“Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.” Proverbs 12:25
“But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.” Psalm 59:16
Poppy and Ginger
Poppy, that tiniest dachshund, loved life in her new home. The sweet girl and kind boys played with her often. And Poppy never got bored.
She would run outside in the grass and sometimes hop on one foot. Poppy even learned to do tricks. She could speak, roll over, and sit.
Such a smart little puppy. Her personality was full of charm. She loved being rewarded with special treats and was always ready to perform.
Even though Poppy was happy, she sometimes got scared at night. She didn’t like being alone and would cry when they turned out the lights.
Well, the mom could not bear Poppy’s crying. The whimpering broke her heart. So instead of her dog bed, Poppy slept right in the crook of mom’s arm.
Almost six years had passed since adoption day. Her family’s love for her grew. But they worried about her being alone while they were at work and at school.
They decided she needed a sibling. And so, the search began. Soon she would have a sister to always keep her company.
The first time they met was quite funny. Poppy’s eyes quickly blinked. Her new sister looked very different and Poppy was not sure what to think.
Poppy was still very tiny, but her new sister was quite large. A chocolate lab, at least four times her size, but oh so gentle at heart.
Ginger moved in a few days later. So sweet and happy to be home. Poppy cautiously welcomed her but made sure Ginger knew who was boss.
That sounds rather silly, a dachshund bossing a lab. Believe me, it was true. Poppy would stare until Ginger moved, then take over Ginger’s big bed.
Sweet Ginger never seemed to mind. She would happily find a new spot. Besides, someone was sure to pet her, she simply had to nudge their hand.
They both loved being outside, especially when it was sunny. Ginger played fetch while Poppy sunbathed under the big oak tree.
There was one thing they did together on those sunny days outside. Chasing squirrels was the name of their game. Thankfully, none were ever caught-only chased away.
Sometimes those squirrels would tease them, inching closer and closer to the door. But as soon as the dogs ran outside, those squirrels scurried back up the oak.
Short trips were also quite fun. They both enjoyed rides in the car. As long as the destination was grandma’s house and not a trip to get shots.
Poppy and Ginger, inseparable sisters, a sweet and funny pair. A miniature dachshund and chocolate lab, always sharing adventures. ❤
Cues
Cue-a signal (such as a word, phrase, or bit of stage business) to a performer to begin a specific speech or action.
When I think of the word cue, it is usually about music. As a pianist, I’m very good at giving and receiving cues. For example, I might follow a singer’s breathing or lead them into an entrance with tempo/musical changes. The cues help us stay together, resulting in beautiful music.
This week, I’ve been forced to listen to a different kind of cue. It actually took several days for me to even recognize that it was a cue.
If only it had been a musical cue.
But no, this was an emotional cue manifesting in a physical symptom.
The first time it appeared was around 5:00 p.m. I had planned to cook dinner-homemade meatballs, roasted veggies, and pasta.
All the ingredients were ready.
Suddenly, I began to feel a little nauseous. “Hmmm, that’s weird,” I thought. I immediately began to worry about getting sick. But I hadn’t been anywhere, and it was not likely. I almost changed dinner plans to take-out.
But then, I decided to push through. We needed a home-cooked meal. It would surely make us all feel better. So, I cooked. It was yummy. I even baked cookies. When the cookies were done, I realized the nausea was gone.
The same thing happened the next day, at the same time. Curious.
“I wonder if this is stress?” I asked myself. This time, my daughter and I took a short walk around the neighborhood. Guess what? Nausea once again disappeared.
That night, I told my husband what had happened. I also expressed that I thought it was a reaction to stress over all the changes occurring right now. He agreed.
Somehow, just sharing how I was feeling helped.
As I thought about this more, it made sense. I may be putting on a good front, staying calm, and saying I’m not worried. But truthfully, these are unsettling times and they are affecting my emotions. This little cue was trying to get my attention. Trying to tell me it’s ok to not be ok.
The time of day also made sense. Each time I noticed this feeling, it was around 5-5:30 p.m. This is the time of day we would normally be getting home from work. Everyone would be sharing about their day, talking about what went well and what didn’t. Talking about students and what we were planning the next days, weeks, etc.
That has all changed. We are together most of the day at home. Not knowing when we will go back to work. Worrying about our friends and family. Worrying about our students. All things that are out of our control.
No wonder my physical cue was nausea.
The most important thing about cues? They require a response. How could I respond to this one? Well, I’ve found a few things to be helpful.
- Take a walk
- Tell someone how I’m feeling
- Cook
- Play piano
This experience also made me think of our kiddos. How do they react to stress? What is often their first complaint? “My stomach hurts.” I guess some things never change. 😉
Take care of yourselves, friends. Listen to your body and pay attention to your emotions. Don’t be afraid to say how you’re feeling. ❤
Faces
Dear Friends,
This past week was our Spring Break from school. One whole week to relax and do whatever I wanted. Except, it really wasn’t. Yes, I was able to relax and spend time with family. But no coffee with friends, spring clothes shopping, last-minute trips out of town, etc.
I tried not to worry about establishing a new routine or what would happen in the weeks to come. But now it’s Saturday, and a new week is almost here. It is time to think ahead just a little.
This morning it hit me what I’m going to miss the most when Monday comes-faces. I see so many faces each day. Faces help us know how a person is feeling. We can see happiness, disappointment, struggle, or excitement with one single glance.
We can also receive what we need from the face of another. If I am the one showing sadness or struggling, a smile from another person is powerful. It shows that someone else sees me and recognizes how I’m feeling.
So, although I won’t see all those faces on Monday, I will be thinking about them. Those colleagues who greet me each day. The students I greet each morning as they enter the building. Those few ornery boys who still call me grandma every time they see me. My friend who sits across the table with a cup of coffee.
As I think of those faces, I will also pray. For that is one thing I can do no matter where I am or what the circumstances. These are unsettling times with many unanswered questions. But I have faith that I will see all those faces again soon-live and in person.
Until then, I remain thankful for technology and social media. And with that thought, I will share a picture of my face from this morning. Hopefully, you will see joy and contentment amid uncertainty. And be reminded that I love you.
Take care of yourselves, sweet friends.
Kelley
“I hope to see you soon, and we will talk face to face.” 3 John 1:14
The Tiniest Dachshund
Preface-This is my attempt at writing a children’s story. Our current circumstances-illness, quarantines, social distancing-seem like the perfect time to share. Hope you enjoy and read it to any kiddos in your life. 🙂
There once lived a tiny dachshund. The start of her life was quite rough. The place she was born was quite scary. No one listened as she softly cried ruff.
Thankfully, this sweet puppy was rescued-along with her siblings and mom. They moved in with a nice foster parent, who would help them find a forever home.
Their names were as sweet as their faces-Rosemary, Laurel, and Parson. And that tiniest dachshund? The runt of the litter? What was her name? Perfectly precious, Poppy.
Poppy loved to play with her siblings. Tails wagging, they would hop and run. And although she tried with all her might, her little legs could not keep up.
One day, a nice mom and dad came to visit. They wanted to meet these sweet puppies. When they saw little Poppy, they cried, “We choose her!” With their family, they knew she would be happy.
Poppy was officially adopted! A new home, a new bed, and new toys. Most important of all, she was met by three children- a sweet girl and two kind boys.
These siblings, along with their parents, were glad to call Poppy their own. This tiny sweet dachshund had stolen their hearts, from the moment she entered their home.
Many years have passed since her adoption day. Poppy is older and gray.
But she loves her family, and they love her even more than that very first day.
We love our Poppy girl! ❤
Cousins
Simpler days spent
Playing outside
Soaking up the sun
Only after hearing
My most recent
Piano/violin solo
As you
Recently
Reminded me
You were a good
Though reluctant
Audience
Do you remember
Digging in the dirt
Under the big oak tree?
Silly childhood thoughts
Making mud pies
Digging to China
Swings and slides
And downhill
Wagon rides
Playfully pushing each other
Off of Grandma and
Grandpa’s front porch
The winner
To be named
King of the Mountain
The subjects
Now laughing
In the grass below
Hours of kickball
On the gravel road
Many heated arguments
Was the runner safe?
The ball out of bounds?
Problem-solving
A few skinned knees
Fights and tears
Hugs and laughter
We learned to be friends
First friends
Cousins
Mom holding me and my cousin, Rebecca. Born 20 days apart. ❤ 
Swinging with Rebecca. 
Cheesy grins.
No Pictures
I love pictures. I have loved them since I was a little girl.
My Grandma Mahar had a round metal container with a tight-fitting lid. I believe it was ivory-colored with gold stripes. But more importantly, it was full of photographs.
I would sit at her dining room table with this treasure box, take off the lid, and spread out the pictures. There were old snapshots, mostly black and white. There were also old school photos of my mom and her siblings.
Thumbing through the photos was like taking a trip back in time. Seeing the old cars, the clothes they wore-reading the notes written on the backs. Thinking about it now makes me smile. I can still see the container and some of the photos in my memory.
My love of pictures readily transferred to adult life, particularly when I became a mom. I know there are times my kids have rolled their eyes upon hearing once again, “Hey guys, we need to take a picture!” Of course, my next line made them smile. “Act like you like each other.”
This past weekend was our oldest son’s wedding. They had prepared a couple of decorative signs to greet guests as they entered the venue. One politely announced that the ceremony was to be “unplugged.” The idea was for guests to put away their phones and just be present in the celebration. So that’s what we did-no photos.
I started thinking about that fact this morning. And even though I love looking at and taking photos, I’m so glad I was “unplugged” for their ceremony. What a joy to be in the moment. Listening as they repeated their vows. Watching them smile and giggle, so happy to be starting their life together.
I will be anxiously awaiting the professional photos from the wedding. I’m even thinking about starting my own container of photographs. Who knows, maybe someone else would enjoy spreading pictures all over the dining room table with me. I can always hope. 😉
Wedding Week
Well, it is wedding week for our son, Robert, and his fiancé, Erin. By this time next Sunday, their celebration will be added to our family album of wonderful memories. All the hard work and planning worth the outcome.
Of course, that outcome encompasses so much more than the wedding day. Yes, that day will be a beautiful reminder of a new beginning. But it’s just the beginning. There is so much more to come.
As parents, our roles are continuously transforming. Yes, we are still here to help and offer advice. But they are now adults, making their own way in this world. Walking more often beside us, instead of viewing us as the guides.
I must admit, this change brings some rollercoaster moments for me. Questions. Am I embracing my new roles with the same excitement as when I was first a parent? Am I providing enough support while giving needed space?
Truthfully, their questions are more important than mine. How do I know they have questions? Because I remember our beginning. The excitement and the uncertainties.
Right now, at this moment, I want them to know how much they are loved. And how excited we are to celebrate with them. I also want to remind not to sweat the details. It is going to be a beautiful wedding!
So, bring on the vases, lights, flowers, and music. The dress, the suit, the rings, the promises. Get ready for family and friends to surround and lift you up. Expect lots of smiles and laughter, and maybe a few tears. But most of all, enjoy your day! ❤
Piano Girl 