Some days the Weight of worry Presses me down And I am left crawling Among the shadows Hands and knees Scraping the ground Head low, feeling Afraid and alone Standing up On my own Is impossible-Yet, A flicker of hope Reminds me that I am not alone Like a child reaching For their parent I glance up as His hands reach down Lifting me out Of the shadows Gently placing me Among the light Of the stars A time to rest Preparation for The day when I will once again Be found crawling Among the shadows- This is the journey– To be traveled with One lasting truth- Wherever the road leads I will never be Out of reach
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”
Once again A storm is raging Emotions swirling Like a tornado In my head The beginning Indistinguishable From the ending Questions flood My thoughts- Why this? Why now? Why me? But I must push Past the questions And just be- Waiting-holding on Until a tiny Break appears In the clouds A split second Ray of sunshine Piercing the dark Clearing my thoughts Lighting my path Just enough to Observe the dust Beginning to settle Assurance the storm is passing
Lost and Found
Where are you?
I sense you are close
But my eyes can’t see
I reach out my hands
Fumbling in the dark
Wishing the clouds away
Where are you?
I ask out loud this time
A little further-just listen
My feet move slowly
Toward the sound of your voice
It grows louder with each step
Suddenly, my hands touch yours
No longer lost, I stand with you
Under the light of the stars
Peace and love Words that fit Together seamlessly But sorrow and happiness Don’t belong in The same line Each word needs Its own place Fills its own space Well, that’s how It would be In a perfect world But the truth is This world Is not perfect Honest reflection asks If perfection should Be my goal, anyway? Without deep sorrow Can there be True happiness? No simple answer Only a mystery One I must accept Allowing its truth to Sink way down deep Into my soul Where sorrow And happiness Are woven together An unbreakable seam Holding the fabric of My heart in place
I am currently re-reading an old favorite, “Hinds’ Feet on High Places” by Hannah Hurnard. I love this allegory, especially the main character, Much-Afraid. This book was first introduced to me by my precious friend, Shannon.
A specific passage caught my eye as I read this morning.
“…while the storm still furiously raged outside, there they were, sitting around a crackling fire, warming themselves and drying their sopping garments while they drank comforting hot cocoa and satisfied their hunger. Though the uproar of the tempest without was almost deafening and the hut shuddered and shook in every blast, yet inside was nothing but peace and thanksgiving and cheerful contentment.”
What a goal. To experience that kind of inner peace, no matter the storm outside.
I once heard someone say the following regarding life and storms. At any given time…
A storm is approaching
A storm is raging
A storm has passed
For me, it seems finding peace is most difficult when the storm is approaching. The clouds are far off in the distance, but it’s only a matter of time before it arrives. The “calm” can be thick with tension. Questions are constant. What if, what if, what if…
The time before the storm is when my anxiety builds. And then when the storm finally arrives, it fades. I just have to push through. That is when I realize I never really had any control anyway.
Although storms cause us to question, they seldom provide answers. They are sometimes accompanied by sorrow and suffering. But I must believe that the possibility of peace exists. Even when it is hard to find.
Each of us has to find our way through the storms. But we do not have to face them alone.
“Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge; in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by.” Psalm 57:1
Some days an attempt to write falls flat and the words just won’t come. Today started that way. Frustrated, I decided to play the piano instead.
Sitting down at the piano, I hoped a favorite hymn would put me in the right frame of mind to write. But my playing also fell flat. There were too many mistakes. The melody sounded choppy. Not very musical.
Though tempted to give up, I played the hymn one more time. When I began to play the second time, the words were suddenly present (in my head) along with the melody.
What a difference! Musically imperfect, but a clear message. And this time, playing brought a true sense of joy.
Hmmm…maybe when words won’t come, I need to hear words that are not my own.
So, today I say, “Happy Easter” with the help of English poet and clergyman, John Newton. My prayer is that Newton’s words and a familiar melody will bring you joy and hope on this Easter Sunday.
🎶Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound That saved a wretch like me I once was lost, but now am found Was blind but now I see
Through many dangers, toils, and snares We have already come Was grace that brought us safe thus far And grace will lead us home🎶
As I opened up my computer to write this morning, all I could think was, “look at that blank page.” No idea what I wanted to write about, I just knew I needed to write. And then it occurred to me all these days at home are truly blank slates. There was no advanced plan for them. Each one is faced truly not knowing what the next one will bring.
Although that is true of our daily reality, we don’t often live that way. We make our plans, plan our trips, and dream about the future. Don’t misunderstand, those are important things to do. However, they must be balanced with the acceptance that we never truly know what tomorrow holds.
Even more than future planning, these circumstances make me think of missed opportunities. For example, if a specific person comes to mind today, I am more likely to send a quick text. Three weeks ago, I might have pushed it to the back of my mind. “Oh, I will contact them tomorrow…”
Not that I am following through on every thought, but I am working on being more intentional. I’ve already experienced the payoff in some ways that may seem small. One “Hello, how are you” text yesterday resulted in a sweet phone conversation about life and changes. It also brought much-needed tears and encouragement. That conversation will stick with me for a long time.
Another experience from earlier this week also made a lasting impression. I was thinking about dropping off a small care package to a dear friend. The plan was to leave it outside her door, get back in my car, and wave from a safe distance. Even typing it, it sounds silly. I almost didn’t do it.
Thankfully, I decided not to worry about looking silly. When my friend walked out of her front door, I found myself wanting to jump out of the car, run over, and give her a hug. She even had to remind herself not to keep walking in my direction. Driving away, I fought back tears.
My takeaway? We need each other. We miss each other. And I cannot wait to once again freely embrace my family, friends, colleagues, and students. I don’t know when that will happen.
Until it does, I will keep looking at these blank slate days with faith and hope and love. And just maybe, cover that blank slate with a little kindness. ❤
“And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.” I Corinthians 13: 13
I am excited to have a guest writer on my blog today, my mom. ❤
When I was a little girl, my mom loved to write poetry. Sometimes for special occasions, usually written for or about an individual. She would share them with family and friends. Her words are displayed in frames in many of her siblings’ homes. But more importantly, her words have been stored in hearts.
She has not actively written in many years, but she has consistently encouraged my writing. Our current world circumstances influenced her to write again. She was a little nervous about sharing, so now I get to encourage her. 🙂
I hope her thoughts bring you peace.🌺
Break of Day
Birds singing Break of day Tune’s different In harmony This day
Flower Blankets Covering ground Soft colors Fragile-Beautiful This day
Gentle breeze Dancing leaves New life memories New beginnings This day
Joyful reminders Hope and love Steadfastness Break of day This day
Great Shepherd’s hand Gently leads On mountains Through valleys This day
Stand still Know peace Given by God Break of day This day
“This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118:24
This past week was our Spring Break from school. One whole week to relax and do whatever I wanted. Except, it really wasn’t. Yes, I was able to relax and spend time with family. But no coffee with friends, spring clothes shopping, last-minute trips out of town, etc.
I tried not to worry about establishing a new routine or what would happen in the weeks to come. But now it’s Saturday, and a new week is almost here. It is time to think ahead just a little.
This morning it hit me what I’m going to miss the most when Monday comes-faces. I see so many faces each day. Faces help us know how a person is feeling. We can see happiness, disappointment, struggle, or excitement with one single glance.
We can also receive what we need from the face of another. If I am the one showing sadness or struggling, a smile from another person is powerful. It shows that someone else sees me and recognizes how I’m feeling.
So, although I won’t see all those faces on Monday, I will be thinking about them. Those colleagues who greet me each day. The students I greet each morning as they enter the building. Those few ornery boys who still call me grandma every time they see me. My friend who sits across the table with a cup of coffee.
As I think of those faces, I will also pray. For that is one thing I can do no matter where I am or what the circumstances. These are unsettling times with many unanswered questions. But I have faith that I will see all those faces again soon-live and in person.
Until then, I remain thankful for technology and social media. And with that thought, I will share a picture of my face from this morning. Hopefully, you will see joy and contentment amid uncertainty. And be reminded that I love you.
Take care of yourselves, sweet friends.
Kelley
“I hope to see you soon, and we will talk face to face.” 3 John 1:14
Struggled to get Out of bed I would rather Not admit But if I’m Being honest Some days I feel low I move slow And the simple Becomes difficult Tears gather Behind my eyes Waiting for their Chance to escape To expose my Inward state The voice inside My head says One foot in front Of the other Keep moving Don’t stop Get in your car Take a drive Feel the sunshine On your face Tomorrow is a New day You Are Not Alone
“Because of the Lord’s great love, we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3: 22-23
