Measures

Relief, joy, calm

Emotions experienced

In different measure

At the births of

Our three children –

Circumstances varied greatly

Each one a miracle-

Whether feeling

Relief, joy, or calm

Thankfulness covered us

Like a warm blanket –

And each miraculous time

Love was the binding

That wrapped each stitch

The gentle hand

That collected each tear

While changing each diaper

Our children know their stories. They’ve heard them more than once. And they know each other’s stories. If asked, they could choose which emotion most closely matches their birth. They are also the best at describing each other’s personalities.

I’m thankful they call me Mom. ❤️

Butterflies and Babies

Sweetly swaddled
Snuggled in tight
Outside noises
Muffled
To protect
Tiny ears
Eyes remain
Sheltered
From the
Bright sun
Not yet ready
To greet this world
Until suddenly
Both protected
And protector
Are thrown into
A realm full of
New sounds
New feelings
New sensations
Why should we
Expect anything
Less than tears
And awe
And wonder

Once again, I am thinking about this life and its comparisons with butterflies. We often focus on the result. A beautiful new life in living color, floating thru the air. But we immediately forget the struggle required to get there.

Exactly one week ago, we met our sweet granddaughter. It was about an hour after she was born. Her feelings concerning the previous few hours were clear. Her cry was strong and sweet, heartbreaking and reassuring.

A couple hours later, the grandparents were ready to hold her. She was swaddled tight and sleeping. The only problem occurred when it was someone else’s turn. She would start crying every time there was a shift.

How dare you hand me over to someone else! I was comfy and just beginning to like you!

I had not given prolonged thought to the shock mamas and babies experience. And then I saw it from Gigi’s point of view-not dwelling, simply acknowledging. 💗

Only One

I only get
This one body
Beautifully
Complicated
Strong
Yet, fragile
An outer shell
Protecting
The heart beating
Inside my chest
Brain thinking
Inside my head
Eyes seeing
Outside my world
Bones, muscles, tendons
All connected
Carrying me
One step
One thought
One view
At a time-
This one body
That from time
To time feels
Pain, frustration
Inadequacies
From time to time
Experiences
Amazing happenings-
Carried three
Tiny beings
Until they were
Ready to meet
The world
Wrapped arms
Around them
Wiped away
Their tears
Held on to
Their hands-
Learning to love
This one body
Both its strengths
And weaknesses
This one temporary body
That houses my soul
 

The Rest of the Story

I have already shared events surrounding the birth of our first child, Robert, in two separate blog posts-Thankful and The Struggle for Control.  You would certainly think those events provided enough excitement for one pregnancy…but that was before he actually arrived.

One month had passed since our car accident.  My cracked ribs were beginning to heal, and I was ready to meet our baby boy.  Despite reassurances from the doctors that he was fine, my worry would not completely disappear until we actually saw him.  So a date to induce labor was set.

Gart and I arrived at the hospital early on December 1, 1994.  All checked in, the process began.  Doctors, nurses, monitors, IV…contractions. He would most likely arrive sometime before midnight.  That’s what they thought-but they thought wrong. Midnight came and went.  I was in active labor, but something wasn’t right.  Of course, this was our first baby, so what did we know?!

At some point during the late night/early morning, the doctor came in and things changed quickly.  Apparently, she should have been called much earlier.  Once she arrived, the whole room transformed. Suddenly it was full of additional medical personnel-a neonatology team, nurses.  Lighting in the room was adjusted, and the mood became extremely serious.

My mom and mother-n-law had been with us through the entire labor process.  But as the room began to transform, they were asked to wait out in the hall.  So they did.

We often see childbirth portrayed as an intense experience followed by this beautiful first moment.   A pink, crying baby is handed to the new mom.  She’s crying and the strong, supportive dad is leaning over-everyone is smiling and eternally happy.  Photos capture the moment, assuring it will never be forgotten.

When Robert was finally born, I can remember waiting…waiting to hear him cry.   Doctors and nurses were busy doing their jobs and there was nothing we could do but wait.  There was a flurry of activity and none of it sounded good. It felt like an eternity.  Then finally, a cry.  The sweetest, tiniest little cry.

A nurse brought him over so we could see him-not hold him-only for a few seconds.  He was pale, almost translucent, but that sweet face.  I can close my eyes right now and still see that face.  There are no pictures from that moment. Time and the seriousness of the situation did not allow for pictures.  Just as quickly as we’d seen him, he was whisked out of the room.  Gart followed.

Our moms, still waiting in the hall,  did not know what was happening. They’d witnessed the influx of medical personnel and their quick exit with the baby, Gart following close behind.  He was stopped at the nursery.  The blinds were closed.  Now he had no idea what was happening with our sweet boy.

Returning to the delivery room to check on me, he was once again stopped at the door.  I had suffered third-degree trauma, and the doctor was with me.  Poor Gart, it’s a miracle we ended up having two more children.

Finally, I was in a room.  Family there.  Waiting to see Robert.  Four hours later, we held him for the first time.  An IV had been placed in the top of his little head.  He had lost a lot of fluid during the trauma of his birth but was going to be ok.  Once again, we were thankful.

There were birthday gifts and cake later that day in the hospital room.  Because not only was December 2, 1994, the birthdate of our son, Robert, it was also my twenty-seventh birthday.  A birthday I will never forget!

I think I can safely say that is the rest of the story.  At least for today!