A Sentence

It is not an
Exaggeration to say
Some moments
It feels like
My heart
Might explode

Several chapters
Lived over time
Love, joy, grief
Converge at once
Holding hands
Across my story

One sweet sentence
From a paragraph
That I never
Want to forget
Though impossible
To clearly express

Lately, emotions seem to well up, catching me by surprise.

A sweet conversation with Mom. A moment of missing Dad. Crying on my husband’s shoulder. Chats with my adult children. Watching my son and daughter-in-law care for my granddaughter.

Both the enormity and the smallness of life collide. And I feel every single moment right in the center of my chest. ❤️

Simply Sunday

Words are stuck
Crawling
Through the fog
In my brain
Thoughts swirl
Bumping
Into each other
Vying for attention
Light approaches
Burning away the fog
Sorting through my thoughts-
Perhaps I should close
My heavy eyes
Lay my head back
And bask in the warmth
Of the Light on my face

Watching sweet Emi fall asleep is a gift. That transition from active to hungry to sleepy-we all know it well.

She doesn’t want to miss a thing!

I’ve used that phrase many times. And it’s true! Babies will sometimes work so hard to stay awake. Truthfully, we adults often do the same. Instead of listening to our tired bodies and minds, we keep pushing.

It’s ok. Lay your head back. Close your eyes. The world won’t stop spinning. 😉

Paradigm Shift

There’s nothing quite so humbling as a drug test. I understand the necessity. And the one I took this week was not my first rodeo. This time, I just paid more attention to the details.

Leave your purse here.
Use that hand sanitizer.
Fill this cup to the 2-line.
You have four minutes.
Do not flush the toilet.

No difficulty following the directions. But then I discovered the sink was disabled…I couldn’t wash my hands. Walking out the door, I immediately reached for that original hand sanitizer.

You can wash your hands in the sink over there if you’d like.

Yes, I’d like. Do some people choose not to wash their hands? Decided not to dwell on that.

Leaving the testing facility, I realized everyone was being tested for a different reason. Some, like me, for a new job. Others, for not-so-fun reasons. Each had their own story. One worth telling, even if they hadn’t realized it yet.

The same day, I began listening to this week’s episode of This American Life, The Call. The subject was an unusual hotline set up for drug users. What are the odds? This is not your typical hotline. The purpose is to encourage people not to do drugs alone. Talk about a paradigm shift.

This story allowed personal looks through different lenses. The operator, the caller preparing to use drugs, and the paramedic. The point wasn’t to change the person using drugs. It was to keep them from using, and possibly dying, alone. To give them another day of life.

Sometimes the endings were happy, sometimes not. But in each story, there was dignity instead of judgment. Caring instead of disregard.

I will never forget this conversation between mother and daughter.

Daughter-What do you want from me?
Mother-It would be good if you didn’t die today.

Here’s the link, if you’d like to listen. https://www.thisamericanlife.org/809/the-call

Simply Sunday

Hi, Dad
I could feel
Myself speaking
But the words
Were inaudible
A slight smile
At my hesitation
A glance toward
The ground
Then on to
The task at hand-
Placing new flowers
On your headstone
Peaceful purples
And deep greens
We miss you
A bright yellow
Butterfly also
Fluttered by
To say hello

Mom and I enjoyed a nice drive and a sunny day. Temps were cooler and there was a nice breeze. As Mom wisely said- I will never not miss him. But life continues and we must keep living.

Visor Up!

I’ve been thinking about visors this week. You know, the ones in your car? On bright sunny days, they protect my eyes from the blinding sun.

But what would I miss if I left that shade in the down position indefinitely?

On a recent morning drive, I realized the sun was no longer in my eyes, and the visor was still down. A quick flip-up revealed a beautiful sky with wispy white clouds.

The next day, I started to put the visor back down. After all, the sun would be in my eyes around the next corner. But only for a moment…

I left the visor up and glanced toward the light. It was glorious!

Are there times I keep my eyes partially covered? Afraid of what I might see. Missing opportunities to take in the world around me.

Yes, sometimes the world can be overwhelming, just like the bright sun. But other times, sunshine in my eyes, warming my face, makes me smile. Reminding me that I am alive and well. ☀️💛

Sunshine On My Shoulder, John Denver Kelley Morris, piano

Learning to Grasp

Bright eyes
Focused
Little hands
Reaching
Tiny fingers
Learning to grasp
Such hard work
Heavy eyes
Fussy cries
Fighting sleep
Afraid of missing
A single minute
Held close
Rest comes
Giving in to
Sweet dreams-
I wonder
If she knows
She’s holding
My heart
As she sleeps

What a joy to have our family all together. We laughed, cried, and ate lots of good food. And, of course, our little granddaughter was the center of attention. I was thankful for the opportunity to hold her and get her to sleep. There is nothing like the sweet weight of a sleeping baby. Well, listening to her coo is pretty sweet, too.

Simply Sunday

Sitting in a rocker in front of Cracker Barrell in Alma, AR, I almost wrote 1993 instead of 2023 at the top of my journal page. This spot between Tulsa, OK, and Little Rock, AR, has been our family meeting place for years. I was waiting for my brother to drop off my mom this time.

Many a summer or spring break adventure started there. Sometimes, it was our kids going to spend a week with grandparents. Other times, it was me having some extended family time. And when you have as many cousins as me, extra time is needed.

So, what took me back to 1993? It was an eventful year for us! We were married in May, moved in July, and had a baby the following December. And that’s when it all started. Traveling the highway between Arkansas and Oklahoma, sometimes stopping in the middle for a drop-off or pick-up.

And this time, the end result was great-grandma meeting great-granddaughter for the first time. 💗

Mid-Week Smiles

Sharing two poems from this month’s writing circle. Grateful for time to write, listen, and reflect with this sweet group of individuals. ❤️ https://flashlightbatteries.blog/ with Ali Grimshaw.

What is Your Favorite Color?

I have always
Only had one
Some people
Periodically
Choose a new one
Like my sweet niece
A new color
For each new year
But not me
Can’t let mine go-
I sometimes wonder
Why it’s my favorite
Then quickly remember
There are too many
Reasons to count-
An endless sky
On a clear summer day
The vastness of the ocean
As it fades into the horizon
The kind eyes of my dad
The bright eyes of my granddaughter
Only a few examples
From an endless list
Painted in shades of blue

A Sweet Rescue

Can you imagine being
Completely covered
In sticky, sweet honey?
Unable to enjoy
Even the tiniest
Of tastes
Due to the
Unpleasantness
Of clogged ears
And glazed eyes
Unable to shift
Even the smallest
Of limbs
Stuck
All alone
Waiting
To be rescued
From your immersion
In too much of
This golden goodness
Relieved
When friends arrive
And carry you
Back to your hive
Lesson learned-
A little honey goes a long way!

Simply Sunday

Music is a foundational part of my life. It is there to help me celebrate. It is there when I’m sad. Whether playing or listening, its power is undeniable. Today seems like a good time to simply share. 😉❤️

Blackbird by John Lennon and Paul McCartney
Kelley Morris, piano
Sunshine On My Shoulders by John Denver
Kelley Morris, piano
Cool Change-The Little River Band
Kelley Morris, piano

Stronger Than Hate

I sense an oppression
More relentless than
This current heatwave
An already heavy
Weight of Worry
Now increased by fear
From hateful words
Spewed on repeat
Intended to threaten even
The most vulnerable-
Words holding no truth
Words intending to
Burn the schoolhouse
To the ground
Leaving our children
To play in the ashes-
And yet
We know
Light shines
In the darkness
We know
Love overcomes hate
We know
Standing together
In those truths
Is the only way
To permeate
The darkest of times
The hardest of hearts

Schools are like mini-communities. Each classroom is its own family. Everyone belongs no matter what. Learning to get along, solving problems, and growing. Playing, laughing, disagreeing, forgiving. And that is only in the first thirty minutes of the day! 😉

These are challenging times for public education. There are constant attacks laced with political rhetoric that have no place in conversations regarding education. Rhetoric repeated so much it has led to threats of violence. And threats only place another layer of fear and stress on students, parents, teachers, and staff.

My friends, family, former colleagues, and former students have faced those threats this past week. And though I am no longer in the classroom, my heart is heavy. I could not let this week pass without sending them this message. I see you! I love you! What you do matters! ❤️