Author: Piano girl

Wife, mom of three, friend, teacher, pianist. Learn from the past, live in the moment, hope for the future.

Simply Sunday

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You Can Call Me…

We are officially on baby watch! Emilia is due May 23. Doctor appointments are happening weekly. The parents-to-be are excited, anxious, and tired. But I have no doubt they are ready.

There is one thing I have not been able to decide. What is this sweet baby going to call me? Gart says he is Papa, easy-peasy. Not so for me.

I have tried on multiple titles in a variety of phrases.

Nana loves you.
I’m so glad to be your Mimi.
Hi, Emilia. Grandma is here.

You get the idea.

Well, the other night I had a dream. A baby was crying. I remember walking up some stairs toward the crying. And right before I woke up, I heard it-Gigi.

Hmmm…I could get used to that. If Emilia approves, that is.

One last weekend visit before baby arrives! ❤️

Counting Moments

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It seemed so silly. Embarrassing, almost. Crying in front of a perfect stranger. A customer, at that.

He asked about music: music that reminded me of Dad. The songs could have been a playlist from my dad’s eight-track player in his truck. If playlists had been such a thing back then.

He responded with words of understanding. His eyes reassuringly glistened. We talked about how he had played piano when he was younger. Now that he was retired, he might have more time to play.

I encouraged him to continue playing. Even mentioned taking lessons. He left with a registration form in hand.

A chance meeting? Or maybe, just maybe, a moment worth counting.

Fast forward a few weeks. And a now familiar face walked in the door.

Hi, Mike!

Oh, you remember me?

Of course! I told my family how I had cried in front of a perfect stranger at work!

We both smiled. There were no tears this time.

Decided I would like to sign up for those piano lessons. When can we start?

I no longer felt silly or embarrassed. Instead, I held a moment of awe in the middle of my heart, standing in the middle of a music store.

Planting Harmony

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Driving down
A two-lane road
Rows and rows
Of sprouting crops
Wrap me in
A soothing hug-
So much has
Happened
Is still happening
Above and below
The Earth to ensure
Their survival…and mine–
Within their embrace
I see logic planted
In harmonic lines
Mathematics
Mixed with music
My heart beats
In the spaces
Between each
Row of green
My soul sings
Sweet and free
Not wanting
This song to end

Simply Sunday

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Much of last week felt heavy. Saturday, I was thankful to spend time writing with my friend, Ali. https://flashlightbatteries.blog/ What a treat! I wrote the following poem during our time together. It seemed like the perfect choice for Simply Sunday. Hope you enjoy it! ❤️

Hold My Hand

Where were you in my yesterday?
Where will you be in my tomorrow?
A thought
A smile
A memory
Today, you may
Very well
Hold my hand
And that is
A beautiful thing
Even if only
For a moment
Sometimes
A moment is
All that is needed
To carry us
Into tomorrow-
Where was I in your yesterday?
Where will I be in your tomorrow?

Near Perfect

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Space Between
Seems vast
Both in distance
And significance
One nearby
Easily seen
But often
Overlooked
The other
Requiring
Near perfect
Conditions
For clear 
Viewing-
Which holds more sway?
That far-away star
Or your crooked smile-
Guess it depends
On who you ask

Secret O’ Life by James Taylor ~Kelley Morris, piano

Einstein said he could never understand it all.
Planets spinning through space; the smile upon your face.

One of our favorite pics. ❤️

Remedies

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I want it to
Go away
The feeling itself
And the way
It makes me feel
Yesterday
It refused-
Sticking around
Like a dull
Headache
Affecting
All of me-
Blurry vision
Upset stomach
Tense muscles-
So it goes
With anger
But like that
Dull headache
I know it will ease
When carefully
Tended with
The right remedies 

Anger is listed in the stages of grief. But somehow, I was not expecting it to be part of my experience. That is not my personality. Nor did I understand its close relationship with sadness. That is, until this week.

Driving to work Monday, I had a sudden image of Mom and Dad at home. They were going through their morning routine, smiling. I smiled. Just as suddenly, I felt mad. Angry at the reality that he is not there with her.

Honestly, I did not recognize it as anger at first. But it did not fade. Two things helped. Naming it and allowing it to work its way out thru tears.

Smiling helps, too. It's just that some days that requires a bit more intention.😊

Simply Sunday

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When our kids were younger, they would spend a week at my parent’s house in the summer. We would meet my parents halfway between our house and theirs. One weekend, dropping off. The next picking up.

This week took me to that halfway point again. Except for this time, I was meeting my brother. And I wasn’t dropping off or picking up kids. It was my mom. She was spending the week with me. ❤️

We had a great time. Lots of time to talk and reminisce. We laughed and cried as we talked about missing my dad. But most of all, we remembered. And remembering is good.

Leave a Message

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Each bird has 
Its song 
Each song 
Its melody 
Each melody 
Its contour
But each voice? 
Well, that is a 
Bit more complex 
Changing with age 
A familiar timbre 
Develops, yet 
Can be altered
In an instant 
By circumstance 
And emotion- 
Whether warm
And welcoming 
Afraid and unsure 
Or confident
And caring
One thing is sure-
A deep-down longing 
Rises, a desire 
To hear the voice 
Of one no longer here 
Just one more time 
A longing not
Easily erased 
A longing 
Leading me to  
Scour through
Voicemails
While listening 
For memories 
Of your voice
Inside my head





Goodnights

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Tiny hand
Gently
Patting me
On the back
Head quietly 
Resting
On my shoulder-
Hands folded
Held still
Near your face
As I tuck you
Snuggly in bed-
Seemed like
Overnight
You were too big
To be tucked in
Staying up 
Later than
Mom and dad
A sweet
Reversal of roles
The big kid
Coming in
To tell us goodnight-
I don't remember 
When any of those
Goodnights
Changed
But they did-
And that's ok

Preparing to be a grandma has me thinking about those early days and years of motherhood. They change so fast.

We are looking forward to welcoming sweet Emilia June very soon! 💗

Mom and Dad to be!
Great-grandmas. 💗

Simply Sunday

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The Firsts

I have felt
The joy in
Celebrating
The firsts-
Smiles
Steps
Words
Birthdays
The one being
Celebrated
Too young
To remember
Yet, later seeing
Thru the eyes
Of those who
Were present
Knowing their
Foundation
Was built
In love-
Strange how
Those firsts
Continue
But change
After one is gone
A birthday
An anniversary
A holiday
Without them
The one being
Remembered
Not here, and yet
Our tears
And smiles
Confirmation
Of that same
Foundation
Still standing

This is our first Easter without Dad. Just me and Mom watching church online as my Uncle James preached from the church where he and my Aunt Martha serve in Massachusetts. It was quiet. The message was hopeful. And we are thankful. Happy Easter! 🕊