I was anxious about the day-our first Thanksgiving without Dad. It was a lovely day. I enjoyed catching up with my extended family. Laughing with my husband and grown children. Snuggling with my sweet granddaughter.
Thinking about how to handle my emotions before the day arrived proved helpful. Though I missed Dad, I did not want it to be a sad day.
There was a moment when tears began to swell. I took a deep breath and snuggled sweet Emi a little closer. Then watched the day unfold-thankful.
Currently
The tiniest
Of us all
Not helpless
Yet, in need of
Assistance
Not a bother
On the contrary—
Your arrival
Single-handedly
Drew joy from
Deep within
Even those of us
Learning to live
With grief-
We knew
You were on your way
Still, your arrival
Caught us by
Surprise
Or maybe
The surprise
Was the love
Suddenly spilling out
When you opened
Your newborn eyes
I was afraid
I might not
Get to see you
This year
And I so enjoy
Our visits
Brief as they are-
There is always
A question mark
Especially when
The weather has not
Been cooperative, but
There must have been
Just enough sunshine
These past few days
To spur you on
Because when I
Rounded the corner
Yesterday
There you stood
Waving
Surprise! Here I am!
Smiling, I replied
It’s so good to see you!
I am learning
There are many ways
To express my grief
Tears, laughter
Listening
Remembering
But also through words
Not always sad
Many times sweet
No matter which way
I choose in any
Given moment
The healing happens
In the expressing
Simple recipe
Words on a card
Pat of butter
Two cups of flour
Ice cold water
The comforting smell
Of pie crust baking
Warm milk
Cocoa powder
Sugar, of course
Touch of vanilla
Continuous stirring
Required
For perfectly
Smooth filling
I can almost
Taste it now-
Watching my sweet Dad
Wearing his apron on
Thanksgiving morning
Remembering
With gratefulness
His smile
As I tasted
The leftover filling-
The simplest of
Ingredients
Transformed
Into so much joy
Yesterday’s poetry circle with Ali Grimshaw https://flashlightbatteries.blog/ was a precious gift. I am grateful for both the words I wrote and the ones I was blessed to hear. ❤️
Stuffy nose
Tiny cough
Little rattles
Lacing
Your breath
Fussy cry
Flushed cheeks
Finally asleep
Mom and Dad
Cautiously
Creep across
The floor
Standing
Perfectly still
Holding
Their breath
Until seeing
The rise
And fall
Of yours-
Feel better
Little one
I will never forget watching my babies sleep, especially if they were sick. Seeing my son and daughter-in-law care for Emi brings those memories rushing back. This week, she is not feeling well. And, of course, they are taking great care of her. It is hard work deciphering signals from a sick baby.
Certain seasons
Seem to turn
My World
Upside Down-
When Red Clay
Soaks its dye
Into the roots
Of a Great Oak
Transforming its crown
From green to
A vibrant shade
Of burnt orange
Right before
Leaf by leaf
The crown falls
To the ground
Afraid, yet willing
Sad, yet grateful
For purpose fulfilled-
Certain seasons
Seem to turn
My World
Upside Down-
Driving across Oklahoma, the red clay dirt catches my attention. During Fall, it creates a beautiful foundation for the changing colors.
The changing seasons remind me of personal changes. New job, sweet granddaughter, the loss of my Dad. What changes have impacted your life this year?
How can it be?
My baby is
Twenty-three!
Kind, creative
Funny and true
So comfortable
In his own skin
If you spend
A little time with him
You’ll feel that way, too!
Happy birthday, Ryan! We love you! ❤️
Term of endearment
With many versions
Each one chosen
For any variety
Of reasons
Each one spoken
For any variety
Of emotions
No matter the age
Sometimes
A girl needs
To see her Mom
Once we became
Acquainted
Hiding was futile
I could either attempt
To ignore you or
Make the best of it
And accept you
For who you are-
The initial shock
Of your rough exterior
Made me want
To runaway
Thankfully, I stayed
Not to say
We are friends
That would be a stretch
But the possibility exists
I sensed it while
Hugging you tight enough
To see into the
Center of your soul
Where sweet memories
Are kept, treasured
So as never
To be forgotten
Grief is not something to get over. Once we know it, it becomes part of us. However, our capacity to live with it grows over time. At least, that’s what I’m choosing to believe. Especially as we prepare to celebrate the approaching holidays. ❤️
Sharing two poems from a recent poetry circle facilitated by Ali Grimshaw. https://flashlightbatteries.blog/. I continue to love this process and the people it allows me to meet. ❤️
I saw you waving
From the side
Of the road-
Who me? I smiled
Wanting to stop
And stay for a bit
But the cars were
Starting to move
And work was waiting-
Seemed silly
In the moment
Nevertheless, I quickly
Snapped your picture
Hoping to capture
Your golden yellow leaves
Grateful to receive
Your promising message
On such a gloomy morning
It’s ok-The rain must fall
We will all be brighter tomorrow
I am known
For crying
My mom is known
For crying
My grandmother
My aunts
Even my daughter
I suppose we
Come by it
Honestly
This tendency
To express both
The happiest and
Saddest moments
In a similar way
Causes some
To ponder
And sometimes
Dare to ask-
Why are you crying?
And if they truly
Want to know
I will gladly tell them
That is if I can stop crying
Piano Girl 