A Father’s Day Story

On June 17, 2018June 27, 2018 By Piano girlLeave a comment

How do you measure success? Money, material possessions, travel, adventure? Facing constant pressure to seek the “next best” makes success difficult to define. A recent conversation with my dad led my thoughts to this subject. As he gathered souvenirs to share with children at their church’s VBS, I began questioning him about his travels and compiling a list of his mission trips. The word “success” permeated my thoughts.

My dad is a carpenter, strong and gentle, a man of few words. A hard worker who spent much of his life building homes. I believe however, his work in volunteer missions truly defines his success. My dad ventured nineteen times to Brazil, five times to Mexico, twice to Guatemala, and once to England. These trips often involved church construction in poor, remote locations. He also volunteered in twelve U.S. states on multiple occasions, building, remodeling and repairing churches, as well as working in tornado and hurricane damaged areas.

Mom often accompanied dad on these trips. Both now in their seventies, they once again prepare to travel, this time to South Dakota. Most people would say, “You’ve done enough, rest.” Nevertheless, they continue to be faithful, embracing opportunities to serve others. In the words of my dad, “Not too bad for a bashful old country boy.” Now that is what I would call a success story!

Happy Father’s Day dad! I love you! dad

Separation

On June 16, 2018November 29, 2021 By Piano girlLeave a comment

I wrote the following poem based on my connection with a former student. Recent news stories concerning the separation of children from their parents brought it to mind.

Deserved vs. Received

I deserved contempt, judgement, death.

I received forgiveness, grace, life.

I deserved exclusion, distance, rejection.

I received community, acceptance, adoption.

This is Love.

This child deserved love, safety, a community.

She received hurt, fear, isolation.

This child deserved affection, a home, a family.

She received neglect, loneliness, strangers.

This is Sin.

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.” I Peter 4:8

Beginnings

On June 13, 2018June 27, 2018 By Piano girl2 Comments

I love music. Music has been a constant in my life since I was a little girl. Sometimes it seems the only time my brain is truly at rest, is when I’m behind the piano. There are many thoughts constantly swirling through my mind, and it is often difficult to for me to make sense of them. I’ve found that writing them down often helps, and I’ve decided maybe it’s time to share some of those writings. I will begin on a rather personal note…

All Things Bright and Beautiful…

all things grey and gloomy

There is much discussion these days concerning depression. It is a very important topic. Speaking from personal experience, it is one that I need to talk about more often. It’s difficult to admit feelings of depression. They come in so many forms-sometimes sadness, sometimes anger, sometimes crying-almost always without explanation. That’s not to say that specific events won’t trigger depression, however there is often no clear answer. The reason-depression is an illness, an imbalance-not an emotion or emotional response, and certainly not a lack of faith.

My personal experiences with depression began over 15 years ago. I was a young wife and mom of three young children. We lived in a quaint Oklahoma town, had amazing friends, a “bright and beautiful” time. Yet somehow I found myself struggling to control my emotions. Feelings of frustration and anger, almost “outside of myself” experiences left me exhausted and confused. I clearly remember on several occasions thinking, “Why am I reacting this way? Why can’t I control this?” It was staggering, that feeling of not being in control.

Thankfully, my husband is one who viewed this as a medical issue that needed to be addressed. So I discussed my feelings with my doctor and began taking anti-depressants. Modifications have been made over the years, but thankfully medication continues to have a positive effect on my mental well-being and helps me cope with everyday life. The solution may not be perfect, but it is one I accept as necessary.

That being said…the depression is still there. Most days are good. But then a season of the “grey and gloomy” will come. Sometimes it will make me angry, angry that I have to take medicine, angry that I can’t just snap out of it! That’s when my husband gently reminds me if I had heart disease, I would seek treatment. If I was diabetic, I wouldn’t hesitate to take medications. And the list goes on and on.

As for my faith in Christ, I do not believe it is a lack of faith which causes my struggle with depression. On the contrary, my faith reminds me there is always hope. Hope that travels with me, right alongside the struggle.

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.”

Hebrews 10:23 NIV